What Love is Not - Getting to the Root

     Christians and non-believers alike are all keenly familiar with 1 Corinthians 13. The LOVE chapter. Usually gracing the middle of wedding ceremonies, the list scrolls: "Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres". There are so many lessons in this text! What is this envy which challenges Love? What is this boasting which damages love? What does a protecting love look like? How can we persevere in Love? How do we do it all?!

 

    

     Recently, I have been mulling over the five words "Love is not self seeking". What does it mean to be self seeking? Is it really just selfishness...wanting your own way all the time? As believers (and hopefully mature adults...;)), it is kind of understood that we won't be going "gimme, gimme, gimme" all the time. We should not be hearing of major tantrums when someone takes something we wanted. We shouldn't be irate when someone gets a position we wanted -- whether it is on the Worship team or a position at our job. Where the Spirit of Christ is working, there should be an offering of preference extended to others. We SHOULD be going out of our way to show graciousness, mercy and generosity. 

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     BUT. What I HAVE been thinking on are the sneaky little self-seeking thoughts that so often tiptoe their way into our minds. The thoughts that unconsciously can take root and grow into a stubborn weed. When someone says something with a "tone". When someone wears something we deem 'inappropriate' to church. When we see someone who seems to be better friends than we are with people. When we compare ourselves, our relationship with Christ, our physical appearance, our ANYTHING with others. When we get our feelings hurt. When someone makes a mistake which we think "foolish". When we see others with SO many more gifting than we see within ourselves. Note that I said WHEN....not IF. We are going to encounter each of these things. Someone WILL offend us (just go get on Facebook..aheh...). Someone WILL have a 'tone'--whether intentional or because of life stress spilling over into our conversation. Someone WILL be more "gifted" than us. We WILL get our feelings hurt. (We're human! and we aren't in Heaven yet!) ;)

     I, personally, am realizing more and more how sensitive *I* am. I am a conflict avoider, which makes me even MORE aware when there are undertones in voices or in situations  (I'm talking beyond "natural introverted quietness"). When this happens, I fold. I curl up in a ball inside and try to hide. I shut down because I feel helpless to fix things or I assume major guilt for problems I am not a part of. I don't want to get my heart hurt and so I put up a protection of silence. I have found that sometimes I withhold my opinion or my thoughts because someone might be hurt by the Truth...or they might reject ME. Jesus, in His INCREDIBLE kindness, has deemed it quite time to weed this out of my heart. PRAISE THE LORD! I never realized what it fully looks like until we recently had a series of several conflicts. I felt like my eyes were opened up to the way that I respond--which may seem harmless to the outside, but it is actually quite painful to those around me. I was putting myself first by intentionally shutting others out. "I won't let you hurt me" was the foundation I laid, brick by brick. Word by poorly timed word. I was seeking myself first.

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     As the Lord has been healing my heart of some past wounds, I feel like He is re-teaching me the foundations of Love. Jesus Himself is LOVE---complete surrender to the Fathers will, ultimate giving of His entire life, and choosing to continue caring for us even while we were (and ARE) so unable to repay our debt. His love...His LIFE never was self-seeking. He never shut down when others hurt Him. He knew the Father. He knew where He stood in the Father's affections. He knew His Father's heart. He knew the Scripture. He poured out. He prayed. He walked in the Spirit. He healed, He encouraged, He challenged, and He never STOPPED. 

   So....I've been working on two new lists. I'm calling them "Lists of the Heart". Lists that we, especially as proclaiming Christians, need to fully grasp. If we want the World to actually SEE Jesus, WE have to get out of the way. We have to stop tearing one another down. WE have to make a decision--we have to stand against this. Self-centeredness has no place in the body of Christ. 

"Love is Not"

-Love is not defensive. 

-Love is not suspicious. 

-Love does not assume. 

-Love does not intentionally withhold affection. 

-Love does not withhold Truth. 

-Love does not accept a "defeated mindset" because it is not focused on winning. 

-Love is not self-centered. 

-Love does not build walls. 

-Love does not shut out or down.

-Love does not show partiality. 

-Love does not doubt. 

-Love does not rejoice in other's failures...or missed opportunities. 

-Love does not challenge harshly. 

-Love does not mock. 

-Love does not "lord" over another person. 

-Love is not vindictive (revengeful). 

-Love does not lash out in anger.

-Love doesn't harm. 

-Love does not gossip (speaking ill of another's character, even if "it's true")

"Love IS"

-Love is a defender -- a defender against the lies of the Enemy.

-Love seeks to address conflict without tearing another down.

-Love encourages -- when someone is struggling, Love comes alongside and says "lean on me".

-Love THINKS WELL of others -- even if evidence may suggest otherwise, Love CHOOSES to believe well

-Love GIVES affection without counting the cost. 

-Love generously shares the Truth, in kindness.

-Love shares the burden. 

-Love is Christ-conscious, eyes fixed upward instead of on self. 

-Love tears down walls and opens the door to all who would come in. 

-Love chooses to accept, unbiased. 

-Love rejoices in other's success!

-Love builds up others -- in courage, peace, hope and FAITH. 

-Love serves. 

-Love CHOOSES to forgive...not because they FEEL like it.

-Love pours out. 

-Love does not keep tally on favors. 

-Love speaks well of others. 

     What I want, what I REALLY want, is to fully grasp this. I want all of us to grasp this. What would it look like if we weren't satisfied with addressing only the outward signs of selfishness? What if we actually humbled ourselves enough to stare that weed in the face, and then have the Lord begin to remove it? I want to live out Corinthians. I want to shine the love of Christ--by the power of the Holy Spirit. And the thing is, we CAN'T do any of the above without the help of the Spirit. There is no physical way we can choose selflessness when selfishness comes naturally! But the most amazing thing is that "the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us" (Romans 5:5). God has shown us incredible, selfless Love. In turn, He has given us the Holy Spirit, not only that we might walk in righteousness and LOVE, but so that we might also show HIS love to others. We love because He loved us first (1 John 4:19). It is not just a check list. "oops. I need to work on my patience today". The fruit of the Spirit--or the "evidence" of the Spirit at work--is something that comes as we grow in Christ...as we put to death selfishness and self-centeredness. The Spirit at work within us is shown as we are earnestly pursuing Christ, listening to His voice, reading His Word, and seeking to love others as Christ does. We can't conjure up (and maintain) a life like Corinthians on our own strength. But that's the beauty of Christ. He knows that. :) It is the reason Christ died for us--because we can't save ourselves and we can't make ourselves perfect. But we can believe Him at His word, putting our trust, our hope, our life, and our salvation in the hands of Christ. 

So, friends, pursue Christ. Walk by the Spirit. Choose love--real, selfless love. Even when it's uncomfortable. Even when it seems like that person is unable to love you. And on the days where you stumble, look to Christ. Because "I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" ( Phil. 1:6). By the power of His Spirit and for His glory!

In Christ, 

Renewing Your Strength

I feel like every time I post, the posts just get longer and longer. I suppose it could be me growing long winded. *teehee* But, truthfully, I am learning that funny things happen when you actually study scripture. Call me crazy, but when you spend time looking into the Bible, prepare yourself for your jaw to drop. That is usually what happens to me. :)

Take Isaiah 40:31. God has been giving me almost daily encouragement the last few weeks that correspond with this verse (waiting is a very common theme in life). So as I was sailing through my Isaiah reading the other night, I was just sitting on my little bed...thinking.

"Those who (1)wait for the Lord

will (a)gain new strength;

They will (b) mount up with wings like eagles, 

They will run and not get tired, 

they will walk and not become weary."
~Isaiah 40:31~

Incredible promises, right? Waiting on the Lord, Him granting us a new strength that will last as we run and will not become weary. As a young women who is a little bit tired, this is always a breath of Life for my Spirit. 

And then...I noticed cross-references. *eye-brow wiggles*. I love it when there are cross-references. I get excited. Really excited. It is like a treasure map, showing us how to "dig in" even further.

First, the little (1) is where you could also put in "Hope in the Lord", instead of wait. "Those who hope (feeling of trust) in the Lord."...those who trust God will gain new strength.

Second, the little (a):

• Job 17:9
  "Nevertheless, the righteous will hold to his way, and he who has clean hands will grow stronger and stronger."
• 2 Cor. 5:8-10
  "We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; Perplexed, but not despairing; Persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed, always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the Life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh."
• 2 Cor 5:16
  "Therefore we do not lose heart, but although our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day."

Sin kills us--maybe not obviously (sometimes it can be very obvious), but it kills our spirits. Those little things we leave..those addictions, those unconfessed lies, the lust, that hatred you harbor...it eats at our hearts, our conciseness, and our spirits. These things may feel good at times, but it kills you quietly, for it is never satisfied with "just a little". Those addictions become stronger, those lies build, it becomes easier to hate and harbor bitterness (leading to self-pity). If left alone, each of these things will grow and grow like the disease it is.

If you talk to someone who has been saved through Jesus' mercy from a life of these things, he feels "set free" as if burdens have been lifted. Even as Christians, when we confess our sins to the Lord, He forgives us and lifts these burdens off of our shoulders. He strengthens us by taking the accusations and condemnation of sin. As we hold to the way of Righteousness--the way of Jesus Christ--our spirits grow stronger and stronger through every trial. Even as our physical bodies (like 2 Corinthians) begin to fail with age or through incredible persecution like our Brothers are suffering in the Middle East right now, we can be filled with a Breath of Life every day--Just as 2 Corinthians 5:16 says "we are being renewed day by day"!

The Little part (b) from "mount up":

• Exodus 19:4
  "You yourselves have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagles wings and brought you to Myself."
• Deut. 32:11
  "Like an eagle that stirs up its nest, that hovers over its young, He spread His wings and caught them (the children of Israel), He carried them on His pinions."
• Luke 18
  -A parable of a widow who went persistent to a Judge, pleading for justice. The Judge, fed up with how much she kept coming, decided to grant her wishes, even though he didn't believe in God. "And will God not bring about justice for His afflicted ones, who cry out to Him day and night?" (vs. 7)
• 2 Cor. 4:1
  "Therefore, since we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we do not lose heart."
• Gal 6:9
  "Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary."
• Hebrews 12:3
  "For considering Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

I love the picture of the Lord being like an eagle--His gentle wings covering His children in a protective gesture, shading and sheltering them. He protects us. Some translations talk about "pinions" instead of "wings". For those of you who don't know exactly what "pinions" are, they are the stiff feathers on wings that specifically help in both thrust and lifting the bird as it flies. God sustains us as we fix our eyes determinedly on Him, pushing forward with endurance to be close to Him (like the eagle) and in obedience. He gives us the thrust and the strength to climb the heights. Just as the widow in Luke 18 was persistent, so we must be persistent in "doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary" (Gal. 6:9). Where God says to go, when He says to speak, or when He says "stay put and wait"--there is where we must persist until He moves us. Don't lose heart if your work seems fruitless or things are not going as planned!

So. From Isaiah 41:30:
1) Those that Trust and Rely on God will gain the strength and Hope they need.
2) The more we release the sin or distractions that hold on to us, the more God can take those burdens and bondage that tie us down--and we gain freedom in Christ.
3) God, Himself--the Creator of Heaven and Earth, the One who has a name for every star, the One whom all of Creation knows  and praises--He is our protector and shelters us.
4) PUSH  forward in eagerness to serve Him and be fruitful for His glory. He promises to sustain you, to give you the "thrust" of endurance you need, and as you spend time with Him, truly TRULY you will find "rest for your soul"--even when trials come (Matthew 11:29)!

Resting Under His Wings,

(Original Image: google)

Prepare Yourself

One of the things that never ceases to amaze is how I can read a portion of scripture over and over, yet every time I read it, God instructs me in something brand new. Recently, the Holy Spirit directed me to the story of David and Goliath. I cannot tell you how many times I have read this story, yet this time was the sweetest so far!

~

In the chapter before this story, David had just been anointed by the prophet Samuel to become the next King of Israel. The Spirit of God was strong with this young man, and was already shaping him into a true soldier of the Lord. David was traveling back and forth between his father's home and King Saul's household (for he had found favor as a musician in Saul's household), tending to his obligations at home as well as his obligations in the King's household. The story between David and the giant begins in 1 Samuel 17. At this time, the Philistines were gathered together for war against the Israelites and had brought forth an enormous man as a challenger. David, being sent with provisions for his brothers who had gone up to fight, arrived as the man Goliath came out to give his daily challenge. As the giant came out, slandering the name of the Lord as well as the people of Israel, David became enraged that Goliath would dare to "taunt the armies of the living God" (1 Samuel 17:26). Everywhere he looked, though, the Israelites were afraid and not one of the trained soldiers were able to bring themselves to go out to face the giant.

David then went before King Saul, declaring that he himself would go out to face this giant. At first, Saul attempted to discourage him. "You are too young" as well as "You are not skillfully trained as a warrior" were the Kings fears for this Young man of Israel. Yet David took confidence in the Lord and trusted the training as a shepherd (fighting off bears and lions by himself) he received just by working in his father's fields.  Saul reluctantly agreed, but tried to prepare David by suiting him up in a robe and full armor (17:38). As David moved around, he knew the armor to be too cumbersome--therefore more of a hindrance than a help. It was not fitted for David. Even a man with no training in warfare will realize the risk of going out to battle in armor that does not fit. David then took the armor off--the only physical protection he would be able to have--and picked up 5 smooth stones. These 5 stones, though simple, would have been a familiar feel in his hands. In those long days defending the sheep, David became skilled in using his slingshot. It was a weapon he had known all his days as a shepherd--a weapon he had tested and found true. David then went out and, in the powerful name of the Lord God, was victorious over his adversary--much to everyone's disbelief. The name of the Lord was exalted in a courageous, young, faithful heart.

Although you could branch off on so many aspects of this incredible story, the thing that God really impressed upon my heart was the scene between Saul and David. Saul, after taking David into his household, was concerned for the young man. Saul was a trained warrior. He knew the physical and impossible odds of sending a man which had little (or no) combat training against a man who had been trained his entire life. He wanted to equip David in the best way he could, which was to offer him protection and at least some sort of defense. However, when David took up the armor given, he found it would only become a hindrance. It was too big, preventing him from free movement. He removed the armor with the confidence that the Lord Himself would take care of him. David knew that his hands were equipped for the task and that the Lord was with him--despite appearances. (Such remarkable Faith. Whew.)

~

The Lord really showed me a simple trutht: this is exactly how it is for us. In our lives, we have people that want the best for us--to see us succeed and to accomplish great things. We will have those that offer good advice, healthy tips, child training advice or even financial help--all given out of hearts wanting to protect and help us. Yet, just as David tried on the armor, it feels cumbersome and it becomes a hindrance instead of a help. David was not out to glorify his own name, to become wealthy, popular or even as a jab to family that rebuked him. David was out to defend the name of God, for David loved the Lord his God. Just in this way, we must test the armor others offer to gird us with. I keep thinking about everyone graduating this spring (Congratulations!) and for those who are uncertain of what is next, they might very well face a downpour of "helpful advice" about what to do next. Let me just encourage you...God knows you. He knows you personally. His call for your life is the ultimate call, because He Himself made you. If you are willing to follow Him, asking for His purpose and plan to be done--brace yourself. You're in for the ride of a lifetime! :) And as everyone begins to offer different types of armor to suit you up with, take it to the foot of the Cross. Pour out your heart before a gentle and compassionate God, a God who is not intimidated by ANYTHING, much-less all of your unknown questions! He knows.

For those of us who are not graduating, I urge you to take all the latest "best tips" (whether it's the "cure-all" vinegar tips, or even how to discipline your children in a godly manner)--all the things that people tell us is "the best answer for a better you" (in other words, armor)--to the foot of the One who Created your fingerprints and who knows every fiber of your DNA. Ask the Lord His opinion on things, because He actually cares about you. Truly. Remember, anything that is not of God--not specifically fitted to you by the Ultimate Craftsman--will only become a hindrance to you walking in Victory over a very real enemy. Look to the Lord to fit you for battle, and take up HIS armor!


Looking to Him,

"Put on the full Armor of God" ~Eph. 6:10-18~

Only Believe

Well, time most certainly flies. I apologize for my bit of an absence-- last 2 1/2 months have just kind of....flown by? One reason, mainly is because we've been a bit busy! Bible studies, lots of snow, me taking spontaneous trips....the days kind of quickly pass when you least expect them to!

We have been having quite the winter--lots more snow!

15 inches, this particular day.

Our dog looked like a dolphin, bobbing in

and out of the snow :)

I slipped up to Massachusetts a over 2 weeks ago to see my friend Jessie and

 her new little baby boy Levi Daniel!

He is so precious!

~

Another reason for a bit of a silence is that God is taking me through another season of intense prayer, wrestling, and waiting on the Lord. I have been praying a lot for my family, for our struggles, our infirmities, and even just what serving God is supposed to look like for us as a family. I want to do another post about some of the things I am learning while praying, but just know that as you pray, KEEP PERSEVERING. KEEP MOVING FORWARD! I wish my caps lock was bigger, but KEEP GOING! :) Jesus is not deaf, nor apathetic to your prayers.

~

Why do I say this? A few weeks ago, I was really struggling. I was starting to feel that I had kind of slipped off God's radar temporarily, feeling useless, unfruitful and, as I was watching friends get married and have kids, feeling that odd fear of "Oh,  no...I'm being left behind." So, I turned to my best friend. I asked Jesus for strength, for faith, and for the quiet perseverance to wait on Him. As I was reading my Bible, He gave me a verse "Do not be afraid any longer, only believe" (Mark 5:36).

"Well...that was timely....as usual."

I clung to those verses (and still am), as a promise that God has not forgotten about me and does have a purpose for using my hands to labor in His fields.

~

AND THEN...DUN DUN DUNNNN.

~

That Sunday, our pastor opened up his Bible to--you guessed it--Mark 5! I will give you a little bit of a summary, although I really encourage you to read it for yourself:

Mark, starting in verse 21, describes how Jesus had just crossed over the sea, and was (as always) quickly surrounded by a large crowd. As He walks through the crowds, healing and ministering to people, He is suddenly approached by a synagogue official. This man, Jarius, threw himself at Jesus' feet pleading earnestly for Jesus to come and heal his daughter. His little girl, around the age of 12, was dying. "Please come and lay hands on her, so that she will get well and live", he implored (Mark 5:23). Jesus immediately began to follow Jarius to his home, pressing through the crowd. As they pressed through, a woman who had been bleeding for 12 years reached out her hand to touch Jesus, knowing He was her only hope and believing He could make her well. She was right, for as soon as she touched Him, she was healed! (By the way, for those of you who are not familiar with the customs, she was considered ceremonially unclean for 12 years and therefore could not make sacrifices or mingle with those who were "clean"...that's a BIG problem). Jesus knew she had been healed and had stopped to speak with her, saying "Daughter, your faith has made you well, go in peace and be healed of your affliction". While Jesus was still speaking to her, men from Jarius' home came and told him the devastating news--his little girl had died. They urged Jarius to stop bothering Jesus and to come home to mourn. Jesus turned and looked at Jarius--"Do not be afraid any longer, only believe".  Jesus went to Jarius home and, after baffling the assembled mourners by putting them out of the house and saying that the child was only sleeping, Jesus commanded the girl to get up. The child, lying on the bed, immediately got up and began to walk. They were all astounded!

~

First off, isn't it interesting that Jarius' daughter had been alive for the same amount of years that woman had been suffering with her illness? Pretty intriguing. Throughout this entire story, as I re-read it, I kept thinking about Jarius. Jarius was a synagogue official--He had status and was considered a man of importance. In a time where Jesus was saying things that were unbelievable and hard for the teachers and scribes to understand, this man threw aside his own pride and cast himself at Jesus mercy. He loved his daughter, and humbled himself in order to receive her life back. He showed humility in a crowd of people in his own town....at Jesus' mercy. Can you imagine his delight when Jesus began to follow him to his own house!?

Then. A distraction occurs. Not only does this man, Jesus and the apostles have to press through an enormous crowd, but there's a woman who needs Jesus too. I keep thinking of what Jarius must have been thinking--what was he doing during all of this? His daughter is dying...yet Jesus took the time to speak with this woman who needed help for 12 years. But Jarius said nothing. While Jesus was still speaking to the woman, Jarius' servants came and gave him the news he never wanted to hear--his little child was gone. What did he do? As they urged him to leave Jesus alone about the matter, Jarius said nothing. He looked to Jesus. Jesus said calmly and (I can bet you) gently "Do not be afraid any longer, only believe." What did Jarius do? He said nothing, but walked quietly beside Jesus, in expectation that He would take a heartbreaking situation and bring life from it. Can you imagine the heart drop he had when, upon reaching his house, he saw the mourners already wailing on behalf of his daughter and...himself? Yet Jesus said "Why make a commotion and weep? The child has not died, but is asleep." Ignoring the laughter and crazy looks, Jesus brought 3 apostles, Jarius and his wife into the bedroom where the body of the child lay. Jesus picked up the little girls' hand, looking at her, said "Little girl, I say to you, get up!"...and she opened her eyes and obeyed. Jarius had stepped out in humility, obeyed in quiet trust and was able to see the fruit of where he chose to put his trust--life through Jesus Christ.

~

I want that. I want to have the same reaction as Jarius--when situations seem hopeless, when it seems like God has "detoured", when I feel like God isn't working "quickly enough for me", to instead look directly at Jesus. Do not be afraid any longer, only believe. Instead of crying and complaining over fears, panicking over illness, worrying about things that are out of my control or even about my life-- to instead, fall in step behind my Master. I want to always choose humility and trust in the one who breathes Life into dry bones. Trust and Obey. Plus, just as Jesus healed a woman on the way to Jaruis's home, you never know what He is doing on the way to visiting your house! :)

Trusting and walking quietly behind the Giver of Life,





A Glimpse

I have felt quite behind in getting back into a routine since mid-December! Haha! However, we had a super sweet Christmas with just our immediate family. Usually we have other family (aunts, uncles, etc.) around, but this year it was just my parents and us four sisters. I was still feeling under the weather, but we really enjoyed the sweetness of Jesus' Birthday. Rachel was home from Canada for a few weeks--needless to say we had a lot of laughter!

Christmas Eve

A night of unique Christmas sweaters and goofy faces

aheh. Goofy faces.

Her present hadn't come yet, so we showed her the picture of it and

I thought it needed a bow to truly be a present. :)

Rachie thoroughly enjoyed her calendar :)

Rachel got me a new Bible!!!! ah...praise God!

I enjoyed wearing the onesie my friend made for me!

Time for lunch--we do a big lunch around 1:00 

Aimee's favorite thing to make--Homemade mashed potatoes 

We always get glass bottles of soda, and this year we had snazzy straws

Well, just wanted to share a few pictures with you all. It was also really sweet because Jesus was just with me the entire day...and there's nothing like celebrating someone when they're there with you. :) I pray you all had a sweet day, and if you had a really hard one, just be reassured that Jesus is worth celebrating every single day of the year...so you can even rejoice today that He was born, in order that we might be saved! Praise God! :)

(Google)

A Marking of Stones

This week has been hard. From some crazy schedules, bible studies, some health issues and my grandfather in a serious condition in the hospital, it has been a difficult past few days.

And yet.

As I drive from the hospital, to bible studies,then home to put in time working, I keep thinking about my last few chapters in Deuteronomy and the chapters in Joshua (which I have now started). I am about 7 chapters into Joshua, and I'll just summarize for you what's happening:

Moses has handed over position of leader of the Israelites  to this man called Joshua. If you remember from a previous post, Joshua is one of the men that God called out by name from amongst the entire host of people as a man with whom he was pleased. The entire first chapter is the Lord encouraging and instructing Joshua in what to do. This chapter is where the verse "Be strong and of good courage" is from (vs. 6). It is truly an incredible chapter, considering Joshua knew whose shoes he was going to be filling. When Moses left Egypt, even the Egyptians knew him to be a man of God. Moses spent days in the incredible presence of the Lord. Talk about pressure. Yet, the Lord God knew.

"As I was with Moses, so I will be with you."

That's pretty incredible, huh?

The next chapters have been about how faithful God is--He sends them out to cities and He goes before them! Some of the strongest cities even surrendered because they had heard about the God of the Israelites and were already terrified! If you are having a hard time right now with clinging to the faithfulness and ability of God, read Joshua. (Well, I personally think you should read it, regardless..but you know what I mean ;) )

One thing that has really struck me is the fact that God does not just provide victory for the people and then they move on. He proves Himself, then several times He has the Israelites build a memorial for the generations after them. In Chapter 4, it was specifically a pile of 12 stones, representing each tribe of Israel. It was seemingly just a pile of stones, yet so much more than that! Whenever someone would pass by that way again, they would see the stones and remember what God did at that river. It would be a testimony that would outlast that generation.

Google

 God's faithfulness is not merely for one generation people, but for generations of people. When we set a memorial down or a "landmark", it is not just for ourselves but also for our children...and for their children.

"[...] that this may be a sign among you, when your children ask in time to come
"What do those stones mean to you"? [...] and you shall let your children know that 'Israel passed over the Jordan on dry ground' [...] So that all the people on earth may know
that the hand of God is mighty;
That you may fear the LORD forever."

~Joshua 4:6, 23 & 24~

~

As I've been praying for strength and the nearness of God this week, I have been reminded to create a my own "memorial" and testimony of God's faithfulness. You definitely could build a memorial or set a physical stone as remembrance, but as for me, it often comes out in writing down a list of answered prayer or putting verses God has given me around my room (or on the bathroom mirror). It is a reminder to think on God's faithfulness, and it often causes people to ask about "that random list".

 Remember Gods' faithfulness. Keep track of answered prayers. Journal what God is teaching you, even if you have not seen the end result yet. Start listing the things you are asking God about (or asking for him to help) and watch as He answers. Write down when he answers! Set up visible verses in your home to remind you of what God has done for you, so when your children (or family members) ask, you can tell them of His faithfulness. This is so helpful on the days when the enemy wants us to believe that God is not listening. Remember His good nature and his merciful hand. And the neat thing is that if you start listing answered prayers, then it usually flows into Thanksgiving and Praise! 

Remembering His Faithfulness,

A Cheerful Face

Some days, I just want to be grumpy. I want to walk around, looking like my body feels--tired and wilted. Sometimes I don't want to think "What Would Jesus Do?" because I know that will bring me out of my "woe is me" mentality. And to my flesh, selfishness feels good, plus grumpy sometimes seems easier than being cheerful.

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You weren't expecting that, huh?  Well, I've been thinking about words and actions the last few days. When you feel like you have excuses--sometimes several--it is SO easy to slip into a mentality of "I'm not doing well, and I don't want to act like I am fine" OR " I need someone to comfort me". This is one area the Lord really challenges me in, especially the last year. I have been tested, re-tested and re-RE-tested (I am apparently hard headed) with issues, challenging my faith AND my heart attitude. God allowed testing through stomach issues, burns, bad hip problems, poor circulation, migraines, and now some intense back pain because He desires me to trust Him with my whole heart and not rely on my own capabilities, strength OR on others for comfort. There are times in which God has put his hand over my mouth in order to keep me from spilling my complaints to others--He wants me to run to HIM and trust HIM first. Cheerfully!

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 As it gets closer to the 1-year marker of getting burned (which I actually am planning a blog post about that, but you can get a quick reminder here : http://cheerfulquill.blogspot.com/2013/01/annas-story.html ), one of my biggest regrets about this time was the fact that I did not keep a continual cheerful heart and keep glorifying God as much as I needed to. I was so sick of dealing with TONS of minor details in taking care of myself AND feeling physically/ spiritually exhausted, that I let my heart slip into a place of self-pity. Others may say "well, you had good reason to be" and "compared to others, you were great!", but I disagree. You see, Jesus looks at the heart. What is my heart saying when my leg is burning with pain, my feet are turning blue because of poor circulation, I haven't had time with Jesus and I have to remember to take my inhaler because of my lungs filling? I may be smiling, but what is my heart whispering? Am I praising God for life, for my family, for good care? Or am I continually asking "why me, Lord?!".

The enemy wants us to stay in selfishness and thinking about our problems, so THAT'S when we know we need to run back to Jesus quickly! So the question is HOW do we do this? How to do we cultivate a cheerful heart? I am thrilled you asked. ;)

1) Humble yourself and take a look at your sin---look at the thoughts of your heart when your parents tell you to do something, when you keep getting interrupted while working, OR when you receive an answer that you truly did NOT want. It's pretty ugly, huh?

2) Repent and ask Jesus to clean you up. Actually say "I'm sorry" to the Lord, because it's against HIM that we have sinned. Sin is not just some distant bad thing, it is actually an action against our Heavenly Father. So, saying that we are sorry and meaning it? That's really important AND very special to Jesus.

3) Ask God to help and grant you cheerfulness, despite your day-to-day scenario. It is the times when we DON'T want to think "what would Jesus really do?" that are the MOST important times for us to ask that question. When I am about to grumble in my heart (usually over-spilling from my mouth), think about the character of Jesus and would he actually refuse to help someone? Would he roll his eyes at his parents or get angry when he was interrupted? (By the way, I challenge you to look up Mark 6:34, and Matthew 14:14 in his responses to having people need him all the time). Ask Jesus to fill you with Joy!

4) Think on verses that encourage you to trust God and rejoice in him, no matter how you FEEL. Because Jeremiah 17:9 says that "The heart is more deceitful than all else, and is desperately sick;". We can't trust our hearts to be our guides, despite what Disney says. Verses are one of our defenses against the enemy, because even he knows how powerful the Word of God is. Find verses special to you and memorize them!

(One of mine is "The Joy of the Lord is your strength!" (Nehemiah 8:10) )

5) SING. Sing even if you can't sing. Sing even if the dogs howl with you. :) Scripture says that praise is becoming to the upright (psalms 33:1-3). When we willing choose to sing and praise God, it gets our focus OFF ourselves and back on Jesus, our moods will change and our hearts will start to rejoice. Try it and see. ;)


So, as I am seeking to continually pursue a cheerful and joyful heart, I challenge you this week to do the same. Make a conscious effort to take every thought captive, especially the grumbling ones, and ask the Lord to forgive you and change your heart! Then start praising him!

Rejoicing in the God of My Salvation!

Fearless

I have struggled with fear ever since I was little. When I say struggle, I mean struggle. There are the "usual" fears-- of the dark, being left, and all those other "typical" fears. However, instead of outgrowing them as I grew older, I feel like my fears also grew with me. Quite a few came from seeing parts of violent movies when I was little, which caused me to have abnormal fears added to my list (fears of being alone at night or red night lights). I battled through my childhood with all these things, never truly gaining victory. And YET, God did not leave me there in my fear. He is a merciful God, and when we ask Him to help us---guess what? He WILL! Several years ago, God designated a sweet prayer time with an older woman who helped me pray through my fears! I asked the Lord to deliver me from my fear, to give me courage, and asked His forgiveness for choosing to be afraid rather than trusting Him. He answered me by setting me free from the shackles of anxiety. Needless to say, I do have to still fight to walk in victory. "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" is a very true word (Eph. 6:12). The enemy continually uses fear and intimidation against us. He wants to "cripple" us in order to keep us from being close to God OR from being fruitful in God's kingdom. Like I said---it is a fight. 

Over the summer, as I was praying through some options for the Fall, I had 3 main impressions:

a) That there were 3 specific people God wanted me to minister to.

b) This was to be a season of Prayer, Praise, and Perseverance. 

c) I wanted to be in Scripture as much as possible.

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Needless to say, the enemy does not like any of the above options.

He will try to pull up things from your past to prevent you
from moving forward with God.

Things like fear.

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Over the last few weeks, I've noticed that I have been seeing fear creep back into my life in small steps. From listening to people's extreme anxiety about world news, afraid to go to sleep because of  intense nightmares, or being feeling paranoid when walking down our (safe) road---all these things were leaving room for the enemy to creep in. I battled with it intensely knowing there was something wrong, but not really gaining full victory over it like I previously had. Then a few days ago God came and talked to me. 

"Lord, I am just so worried and tired..."
"So, are there any scriptures that come to mind right now??"
"Well, Do not fear is all over the Bible..."
"What kind of form is it given, Anna?"
"...It's in.....command form. Do not fear."
"Yes, command form. I want you to trust me and choose to obey what I say,
 because I love you."

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I realized then that the enemy was attempting to creep in and "tie my hands" again (so to speak)---to get me in a flustered place where my fear bound my ability to actually be fully fruitful for God. I had specific things that God asked me to do--things which he was already blessing my efforts in--and the devil was not happy about it. So...I decided to obey God. The next day, I opened up the door to take my walk. I looked at the sky and said "God, today I choose obedience. I choose to not be afraid because YOU are my defender and if you can bring victory to an entire group of men (Israelites), you can protect and care for me. So, today, I want you to know that I trust you." Then I left my porch. I walked fearlessly down the road, rejoicing in Him. It was a great walk. :)


So, this week, I have determined (again) that I would rather be obedient to God and trust Him, than be crippled to ineffectiveness by the enemy! Praise God for victory again AND for allowing me to work for Him!

Walking Boldly in Him, 

In His Hands

As I write this, I am actually out of the country. Prince Edward Island, Canada to be exact (think homeland of Anne of Green Gables).

I'm not going to lie-- It is probably one of my FAVORITE places. Ever.

 Combined with some of my FAVORITE people.

Although I would love to post photos, making you want to pack your bags immediately and join me, I just wanted to share something before I get too far ahead of myself. ;)

First off, I'd like to introduce you to Hope. 

She has an "AWWWW" Rating of a Billion.

We were hanging out today (voluntary babysitting) and...it's kind of crazy what you can learn from looking at a baby. But as we were sitting quietly in a big comfy chair, I started thinking about Jesus (Pretty random thought, huh? ;) ). I started thinking about being in the safety and security of His arms, and the comfort of His hands. I love thinking about the hands of Jesus. The skilled, strong hands of a carpenter--but gentle enough that  children would never hesitate to run to Him. While I was thinking, Little Hope started whimpering and her little teensy lip turned down in a determined frown. As I gently patted her chest and just started to whisper gently in her ear, her face turned completely peaceful and she settled down to continue snoozing. 

I feel like this picture is the exact same with Jesus. Even when I rest in His arms, I can forget He's holding me OR life circumstances may happen, which cause me to suddenly be overwhelmed with fear. Yet, Jesus has SUCH incredible compassion on us. He knows our frame and "as a father pities His children, so the Lord pities those who fear Him" (Psalm 103:13). He loves to comfort us when we run to Him. As we run to Him, as we cast our cares upon Him, he takes them upon himself and begins to quiet us with his promises. I love to run to Jesus.

Yesterday, as I was sitting on a rock facing the ocean, Jesus came and sat down beside me. My heart was quickened to the nearness of Christ, and then stilled by the peace of His presence. When we run to Jesus, we are able to feel the sweetest, gentlest hand of Jesus, gently placing his hand on our hearts--filling our spirit with the quietness of God. Just like baby Hope knows true security, I know when my Prince of Peace is near. To me, He is Emmanuel--God with us.

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