Hunting for "Christmas Spirit"

Merry Christmas Eve! I don't know if you are anything like me, but I had to look back on this year with wide eyes. This year has been HARD, y'all. So many things have happened for our family--job hunting, health issues, working on relationships, school, volunteering, deaths, beginning new friendships...I actually can't believe it is Christmas already. 

 Truth be told, entering Christmas season was challenging for our family. Not to mention coming right off of the...uh...swarm of election emotions. Honestly, there were a few times I cringed when I thought about Christmas approaching. NOT because I wasn't excited to celebrate Christ, but because I was looking around as people were backbiting, tearing one another down, and "unfriending"--all the while preparing to sing about "goodwill toward men" and "peace on earth"....I really didn't want to "pretend", because it didn't make SENSE. It wasn't the truth. At one point, we were so out of sorts that three of us girls were driving (being really goofy) around the Costco parking lot "hunting for the Christmas Spirit". Needless to say, we couldn't "find" it and were left laughing (and a bit dizzy!). ;)

Still, in the back of my mind this month, I've been wrestling with these questions.

Lord, how can we truly have peace when there IS no peace in our world? How can I show others the Hope I've found when even I'M struggling to have Hope? How can we cling to Joy when people have no joy? How can we rest in Your arms when it feels like we're drowning in the chaos, pride and fear of man? How can we celebrate Your birth when we are wrestling with such discouragement? How do we, as believers, show "the Christmas Spirit" of Joy?

And one of the most reassuring, awesome things I have learned about God as my Father is the fact that He CAN handle our tough questions. He can handle us. :)

I was really praying and crying out to the Lord for help, when He oh so sweetly reminded me of the Truth. The Truth is that despite how we feel right now--we CAN sing about the birth of a Baby, we CAN rejoice in the coming of a Child, we CAN celebrate this small form because He didn't STAY a baby. For His birth wasn't ONLY the miracle of a new life; it was the beginning of a craved Hope. He IS the Messiah. OUR Messiah. HE IS the long awaited Christ. OUR long-awaited Christ. HE IS the one in whom "nations would (and CAN) place their HOPE" (Matthew 12:21). He is the One in whom WE can place our hope. In HIM is forgiveness of sins (Col. 1:14). In fact, He came TO save us from our sins--pride, fear, lust, greed, jealousy, lewdness, bitterness, adultery, witchcraft, and every thing that stands in opposition to a Holy, pure God (Matthew 1:21). He came to bear our burdens (Ps. 69:19). He IS our all in all...in the tiniest, most unassuming gift wrapping. A little, innocent child.

That's just like Christ. Humble. Unassuming. Yet SO powerful, SO true, SO unwavering, SO trustworthy, SO incredible. So very pure.

Tonight as you prepare to celebrate Jesus tomorrow and if you are finding your "Christmas spirit" lacking, just remember this. We don't just celebrate a birthday. We celebrate the birth of Hope. We celebrate the gates of Heaven being opened up to us in a NEW, glorious Way. He IS the promise of eternal life (Romans 6:23). He IS the Redeemer through whom we have been adopted as Children of God--inheritors of a Kingdom of Light (Gal 4:4-5). We celebrate the One who IS Himself JOY. We celebrate the One who IS our Peace, because no one can take Him away from us (Romans 8:31-39), Through Him, we can be freed from our burdens, our fears and our sins. Through one small bundle, so very long ago.

And in THAT, my friends, is every single reason to rest, rejoice and WORSHIP. No matter what, no matter where.

Rejoicing in Him!

Fall into Christmas

I love this time of year. That crisp morning air, newly settled frosts--that hint of Christmas just around the corner. Perfect mornings for coffee. ;)

What a crazy two months it has been. Birthdays, the Election, baking for a Vow renewal, and just everyday LIFE. My dad is on his last stretch of his "busy season". He works with Humana insurance, and October-December is the busiest time of the year for him, as people are "aging" into different plans. He makes a majority of his yearly income in two and a half months...needless to say, it can get a bit stressful for him. ;) So this busy season often becomes a "press in" season for our family. Pressing forward even when things can get hectic, and pressing on in our pursuit of Christ.

Some highlights from the last two months:

Some dear friends of our decided to renew their vows, recommitting to honor and serve one another. 

It was a GORGEOUS, simple ceremony...and I'm pretty sure every single person cried. ;)

I have a running joke with the "Groom" that it's not an event until my cheesecake makes an appearance. Thus, I got to make Carrot Cake Cupcakes (Brides Choice) and the "Grooms Choice" was "Anything that Anna makes" (aka Cheesecakes)

A VERY sweet evening, one highlight being that I got to spend a little time with my Cousin Taylor. Even though we live in the same state, we often don't get to cross paths because of crazy schedules.

I (along with my little sister and a few friends) got to try our first "race". 

 I LOVED it....and you may find me doing it again. ;)

We also chased some sunsets while house-sitting. 

No matter the states I travel to, Virginia will always have my heart.

Thanksgiving was also pretty exciting for our family. We planned to go out of town the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, knowing that Rachel would be "somewhere around the country" and not able to come home. However, Tuesday (while I was at work), I got a call saying "Hey, can you come get me tonight in Staunton?" So, I met Rachel and the Sky Family at 1:00 a.m. in a Walmart parking lot to have Rachel home for Thanksgiving! Needless to say, it was a crazy, sweet, food-filled time. We were also blessed to be able to share one last trip to the cabin with a dear friend who has (now) moved back to Kansas. 

And NOW we are headed into Christmas! Is it just me, or has this year FLOWN?! I'm still sitting here wondering how we got a Tree up so quickly. But on that note, as we head into this Christmas season, I've been praying that the Lord would grant to me a quiet, contemplative spirit. I really want to grasp the incredible gift we have been given--how Someone SO Holy and worthy of continual worship would humble Himself, entrusting Himself to a young "insignificant" couple. We have SO many reasons to be Thankful for our blessings that God has given us every day, but I want to really understand (again) the Glory of the ULTIMATE gift coming to Earth. A gift which we do not deserve. Jesus, the Son of God, born into flesh. A quiet, humble birth. No self-proclamation. No "pomp and circumstance". Just the sweetness of the Holy Spirit and the glorious, perfect ways of a God who cares for us. All so that WE might be free from Sin, from bondage, from addiction--with the ability to walk in fullness of Joy with the expectation of Life with Christ in Eternity. Hallelujah!

Just out of curiosity, what are some ways that you prepare for this Advent & Christmas season? Do you do a Bible study? Do you do Advent readings with your family?

Resting in the Joy of Christ, 

With A Thrill Of Hope

Although my posting infrequency would appear otherwise, Anna is still alive! Crazy, I know.

Funny how life drifts slowly by--whether we are rowing on top of or swimming "in the midst of" the day to day tasks. For the Dumaresq household, the Summer months held week of excitement. After watching Aimee graduate in May, my weeks were full of weddings, house sitting, traveling and seeing my "godchildren" Levi & Bayley Anna.

Excitement, but also--for some reason--Summer is one of the most difficult seasons for me. I haven't been able to put my finger on it, but it just has proven to be a challenging time of year. It is as if I just feel the heat--physical summer heat, but also that spiritual furnace of refinement--quite keenly. I believe it also ties in with the humorous way we always tell God "Okay, I finished that lesson. A+. NEXT". Which, of course, He kind of chuckles to Himself (in His sweet-Father way) and says "Oh dear Child, you have just begun."

That being said, I am learning to approach Summer as one going into a hand-to-hand combat training arena. One of those "training areas" He has been working on is control. Well, shall I say my need for control. I am an observer. A thinker. I can be quite loud (hey, I'm a Dumaresq, okay?!), but I really like to be quiet. To watch. To gather information. All inside my own little controlled world. I freak out when the outcome to a situation is REALLY different than my (numerous) possible outcomes.

So, with all that in mind, life felt the complete opposite of everything listed above. Everything felt OUT of control. 

A small example was the (sudden) loss of a dearly respected gentlemen. I have often traveled with his wife as her mobile "administrative assistant". Watching those last days unfold was one of the most painful things my heart has walked through. It was quite sudden, for me at least, because I only had known that the cancer was back. I had no idea how quickly that horrid disease would spread.

 Then one night, I was listening to a few new songs I had acquired, when "It Is Not Death To Die" by Sovereign Grace began to play. I burst into tears. I can't explain it, but the Holy Spirit quietly told me that this beloved gentleman would pass within the week. 

The next morning, I received a text from my friend, telling me her husband was on the brink of Eternity. She asked me to prepare for coming to Tennessee when her husband passed. 

But I already knew.

As I packed my bags, I had to ask God some really hard questions. I felt Spiritually barren (not producing Spiritual Fruit), I had several friends struggling because of dear relatives going through cancer (and I was unsure of how to comfort), I had relationships that I was unsure of how to handle, I was struggling with that wretched thief "comparison", I felt a deep loneliness as I watched friends enter into joyful new seasons--and NOW I had to go empty myself again as a family I loved grieved the loss of a true gentleman.

IT WAS HARD. Really really hard. 

"God, I don't understand this. At ALL. Where are you? How do I do this?"

~

In every season, we need Jesus.  But, in this summer where I felt like my feet were burning with the heat of the refinement furnace, I needed Jesus in a way I have not experienced thus far in my 22 years. It was like He allowed my heart to be stripped of the things that I could possibly control--including being able to depend on myself--and sat quietly beside me. Waiting for me to let Him open up my white knuckled grasp and take my confidence in myself out of my little hands. It really hurt. I felt like He was asking me to give up something, even when I couldn't see what He was giving me in return. It felt unfair. I felt selfish, and I hated the selfishness that reared it's ugly head in my heart. 

Beautiful, cool, sweet Fall. A balm to the thirsty soul is the cool, a reminder of what it feels like to dwell in the shadow of the Almighty. 

A week or so into the change of season, I paused briefly to survey the changes brought by summer. I turned to see what Jesus had been doing while I was walking quietly behind Him. I turned...and I saw HIM. Jesus WAS there. Walking beside me in my furnace.

Quiet. Still. But oh, SO present.

And all those times when I felt like He was withholding--He drained those holding places in order to REPLACE them with HIS choice of refreshment. HIS Living Water.

He replaced my "good" with His "best". He replaced it with HIMSELF.

I had no one to really share my grief in having a gentleman I so respected pass away, so JESUS shared my grief. My sweet Jesus under-girded me with strength as I cooked, cleaned and prayed to be a sweet presence of peace as I remained the week following the funeral to help the family. 

On the days where I felt like a tiny floating cloud--of no consequence and no destination in mind--He became my anchor. He brought me sermon after sermon to listen to while at work, watering my spirit with TRUTH. He sent me letters via His sweet daughters. He sent me coffee dates and much needed texts at just the right time. He gave me hugs. He gave me strength. (P.s. You need to look up Eric Ludy and listen to some of his sermons. Just saying.)

On the days of loneliness, He gave me the balm of companionship in unlikely friends. He opened doors for fellowship with other believers--working in peace and unity, despite denominations (can I just say that if you live in the C'ville area and want to know what's going on in the Mission field--you really need to visit Advancing Native Missions "Community Bible Study" on Thursday Mornings?!). His spirit has NOT forsaken His people. His Spirit has not forsake ME. Nor has it forsaken YOU. In every single day--every single season--He gives us Himself.

~

Then it was as if something "clicked". It was as if the desire for control I grappled with--the "peace" I tried to conjure up for myself as I "clenched" onto my will--vanished as a mist. As soon as it did, one of the most beautiful things happened. JOY awakened. Like a long lost friend, TRUE Joy tapped me on the shoulder. Joy--that is not affected nor swayed by emotions or outcomes--was back. I haven't felt THAT Joy in a very long time. 

I fight tears as I type these words. Because life is hard. It's HARD. There are so many things we CAN'T control. We can't control other people--their reactions, their perception on situations, their feelings--just like we can't control the path of a hurricane. We can't control death. We can't control sickness. We have limited "control" of situations.

But. That's okay. We don't need to. 

For we are called "Friend" by the One who calms stormy seas with a word, who speaks peace to the inner rooms of our hearts, the One who "carries [us] close to His heart". He places His hand on our little head, lifting our gaze towards His dear face! He is a Mighty, Victorious Warrior--PURE in heart, free from Manipulation or Self-pity. He is not just a "good person"...He is GOOD.

Jesus is more than enough.

He isn't dead. He isn't deaf. He is NOT apathetic. His reasons for allowing, removing, or withholding something aren't out of a heart of which delights in affliction. On the contrary, "every single thing that God does comes from a heart full of love and concern" (Eric Ludy).  His answers to our prayer--be it yes or no--is FULL of Love. An unconditional, sacrificial Love. If you feel like He has been quiet, remember that His quietness is an opportunity for YOU to quiet yourself. Listen. Draw close.

~

So now, as the coolness of Fall gives way into Winter, let us run forth with Joy! Enter Advent with a quiet Thanksgiving, a confident Trust. As we remember His birth, remember that He was born FOR our Salvation--our freedom from Sin and the ability to walk in Righteousness. He came so that we might be set free from burdens. He was made humble so that He might teach us Humility and TRUST in His Father. He was born so that we might have HOPE. He was born pure so that we might become pure. We CAN'T make ourselves pure, no matter how much "good" we do. The only Way, the only Truth and the only Light (in a world of increasing darkness) has come! He is Jesus. He is big enough. He is strong enough to carry our burdens. He is Emmanuel. He is God with us! Hallelujah!


With a "Thrill of Hope",

A Glimpse

I have felt quite behind in getting back into a routine since mid-December! Haha! However, we had a super sweet Christmas with just our immediate family. Usually we have other family (aunts, uncles, etc.) around, but this year it was just my parents and us four sisters. I was still feeling under the weather, but we really enjoyed the sweetness of Jesus' Birthday. Rachel was home from Canada for a few weeks--needless to say we had a lot of laughter!

Christmas Eve

A night of unique Christmas sweaters and goofy faces

aheh. Goofy faces.

Her present hadn't come yet, so we showed her the picture of it and

I thought it needed a bow to truly be a present. :)

Rachie thoroughly enjoyed her calendar :)

Rachel got me a new Bible!!!! ah...praise God!

I enjoyed wearing the onesie my friend made for me!

Time for lunch--we do a big lunch around 1:00 

Aimee's favorite thing to make--Homemade mashed potatoes 

We always get glass bottles of soda, and this year we had snazzy straws

Well, just wanted to share a few pictures with you all. It was also really sweet because Jesus was just with me the entire day...and there's nothing like celebrating someone when they're there with you. :) I pray you all had a sweet day, and if you had a really hard one, just be reassured that Jesus is worth celebrating every single day of the year...so you can even rejoice today that He was born, in order that we might be saved! Praise God! :)

(Google)