Embracing Vulnerability

Vulnerability is hard. First of all, I hate making mistakes. Even more, I hate people knowing I make mistakes or seeing the parts of my life I don’t have “together”. It is so difficult to have someone see how I messed up or that I said something incorrectly. "Vulnerability" scares me because it means putting yourself in a position where the other person could hurt you. It means showing the good AND the bad. It’s allowing the mess to be seen for what it is. Like I said…its terrifying. :) But, as I’ve been reminded over the last few weeks, without vulnerability there can be no intimacy. Without transparency, you can’t move closer. You can mask transparency for a while; however, masks are masks. They conceal. The mask of sarcasm, humor or avoidance doesn’t actually help. They only bring isolation. 

I've been asking God over the last year to teach me about healthy vulnerability. There's a difference between telling someone every single thing you think about them--good and bad--and allowing yourself to be transparent. 

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I can truthfully say that I did not expect the ride that one prayer has taken me on. I did not expect that learning vulnerability would mean I had to experience the pain of making mistakes and letting someone watch me make them. I did not expect it meant learning how to talk about the things from my past that were really hard for me to articulate. It meant finding words to share when I've always been the listener. It meant bursting into tears at work and letting someone know it was because I wasn't doing well. It meant letting go of what people think and not stuffing because "they might think I'm not reliable".  BUT, as I started talking about the messy parts of my life, I was not prepared for what I received. I didn’t expect people to step closer when I expected them to step away. 

Honestly, I think that reflects God’s heart. In the middle of the mess, He sees us and still He comes closer. He saves us and leads us on the path of peace. THAT doesn’t make logical sense—for a Holy God to come close to those who are imperfect. Yet it is the essence of who He is. “He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near” (Ephesians 2:17). He brings peace to the heart that is used to striving to be accepted, peace to the diseased, peace to the broken, peace to the humbled, peace to those in poverty, peace to those in misery, peace to the lonely—because He is the Prince of Peace. He knows exactly how He made us and that we can’t make ourselves perfect. We aren’t supposed to be perfect. Only He is perfect. We can’t do anything to work towards perfection because only in HIM are we (1) redeemed (Eph. 1:7), (2) complete (Col. 2:10), and (3) lacking nothing (Ps. 34:9). We don’t have to strive...He has declared that it is finished. 

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So simple, yet so profound. To be seen, known and loved by a God who desires relationship with each of us...and to give us the opportunity to show that same love (in some small way) in our relationships here on earth. Now that is something to talk about. 

That Summer When I Disappeared.

In typical Dumaresq fashion, my calendar on my phone has been lit up in an impressive rainbow fashion. I've had back-to-back events for almost the entire summer. I say that as we head into Fall....which is typically my busiest season. I have a lot of crazy things I would love to share about this season of my life, but I think for now I'm just going to give you a bit of an update of what's been going on in my own little world. 

JUNE

June came on in full force. My pastor left for a month long Sabbatical, which left ME (the Administrative Assistant) running around like my hair was on fire. Just kidding (kind of). Everything went great, but it was definitely a season of maturation for me. I grew in my Administrative abilities, but also I grew a greater appreciation for all that my Pastor and his family do. This being said, PRAY for your pastors/families. Pray for guidance, strength, and the Holy Spirit to refresh them daily as they pour out continuously. I also scooped up some house-sitting jobs, baking jobs, Bible studies, and traveling down to my Grandmother's quite a bit to clean for her (she lives about 3 hours away). June also marked the 1-year anniversary of Grandaddy being in Heaven. 

(a cake commission from June)

(Rachel also visited us in June!)

JULY

July, too, seemed to fly by in a blur of summertime heat. Our pastor's continued Sabbatical, Youth events, Myrtle Beach, summer classes, worship team practices, friend adventures and more! 

(Volleyball has been a youth favorite as of late...I love these guys!)

AUGUST

Which leads us to this current month: ANGST. I mean August. This month has been a little...challenging. I have been....flat on my face more than I typically find myself. Honestly, I've been challenged by the Lord this summer to let Him heal a past wound that I had covered up DEEP inside my heart. I put it under the rug because it was really raw and I didn't know how to deal with it. But, in the most unlikely of people for me to share, I found someone to listen and...I've haven't picked up that weight in over a month now. On top of emotional challenges, I've also been struggling with fatigue again. For those of you who have followed me, I've had a lot of ups and downs in my physical health. Some weeks, I'm doing great! Other weeks, I work for a few hours and then am in the bed for the rest of the day. Earlier this summer, I was having intense pain which left me in tears every single night. ANYWAYS. Besides these things keeping my prayer life active, I've also had several blessings:

(Spudnut started dual enrollment at the local Community College)

+ A new (additional) job! At just the right time, in just the right way, in just the right family--He found it the right time to answer my (numerous) prayers for an additional part time job. I am currently working for a super dear family, helping run errands, small tasks around the house and hanging out with a very sweet young lady. Thank you all who have prayed for me in this area. It has been truly a joy to my heart and SUCH a testimony of how God prepares a place for us, even before we know it. 

+I am currently part of Katie Davis' launch team! Katie Davis, one of my favorite modern-day missionaries, recently finished writing her second book. "Daring to Hope" is about several events which challenged the Davis' family--and the faithfulness of God through trials and tragedies! I'm so excited to have been chosen (there was an application/process to go through) and you will be hearing more of it in the near future!

+ Lastly, I've been taking a few classes through a school called Toccoa Falls College. It's a teensy little Christian college in Toccoa Falls, Georgia. I already have my Associates Degree, but the Lord has opened the door for me to pursue my Bachelors and ALL my credits transferred! I have already been so blessed at the concrete, solid, Gospel-centered classes. I've felt my walk with the Lord growing and maturing in a way I've never imagined. (I also randomly found a friend taking the same class as me this week, which is the funniest, best surprise!)

(My dad's father came up from Florida--the first time we've all been together in a while!)

 *just missing Rachel*

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Anyways, this kind of got a bit long winded. Sorry. But, I just wanted to give you a glimpse into my little world that seemed to be off the map for a while! Overall, this summer has been one of the hardest (emotionally) I've experienced thus far, BUT honestly...I've never seen the hand of God working so clearly to mature and nurture His children. He carries us--in seasons of prosperity and in seasons of poverty, in seasons of sickness and in wellness, in joy and in grief--in every season, He remains faithful. Just when we grow weary, He provides SUCH encouragement at just the right time!! I am able to walk into the next season (FALLLLL) with a heart of gratitude and eagerness to see what He will do next. 

Resting in His Arms, 

A verse I've been thinking about: 

Psalm 91:14-16

"Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation."

15 

Oh, October

And just like that, you blink, and months have hurried past in a blur. Quite a bit has happened since I had the opportunity to post! Even saying this, I just arrived home yesterday from a week in the New England area (specifically Mass. and Connecticut).

Here's what the Doomsquad (my family's nickname) has been up to--from my perspective, at least.

June begun with the passing of my Grandfather in an unexpected trip to the hospital. He was there for a few days when we realized...t reeling from my Grandfather passing away, June passed in a hushed manner. After the funeral, my family slipped away to Myrtle beach for a much needed week of...quietness.

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Following Myrtle Beach, I snuck out of Charlottesville on a spontaneous weekend with my friend Samara for a little blessing straight from the Lord. I was so weary (especially emotionally), and the Lord ministered to my heart through my quiet times in the sweet mornings, and with life-giving conversations with this dear heart. 

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July found us flying around as we packed in the summer activities. We spent July 4th at my grandparents cabin, celebrating our Independence with family, It was a bittersweet time, considering out last trip there was for Grandaddy's funeral. His chair just doesn't look the same without him in it.

**I will also add that it is such an incredible blessing to have a generous cousin who doesn't mind sharing his boat with our family! We have been so blessed by him and his family, as we got to watch fireworks ON the lake!**

Next up was the ThinkWell Conference. It was a fantastic week, FULL of incredible teachers (including Del Tackett from The Truth Project)--specifically for training teens how to defend their faith. Topics included the validity of the Bible, Spiritual Disciplines, Living out Christianity in Today's culture, and SO much more! Our Church is earnestly praying about doing it again next year! As Admin for our church, I was running around like my hair was on fire...but I loved it. ;)

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July also held the CRAZY weekend roadtrip to New Orleans that my sister Charlotte and I were able to go on, accompanied by our dear (New Orlean Native) friends Catherine and Kayla. We popped off to Nashville to pick up Kayla (where she lives), and then headed down to NOLA. What a crazy, amazing, tiring, food filled weekend! I am ready to go back! p.s. Beignet Donuts from District Donuts are so worth every mile of driving. True story.  

(French Quarter, NOLA)

August found me struggling with some continued health issues. All summer I struggled with unexplained fatigue, turning colors, and feeling really lethargic. Yet, amidst my discouragement, the Lord greatly encouraged my heart and gave me strength. I found such continued JOY in my walks, continual encouragement through conversations, and felt the Lord's presence surrounding me as a shield. (August was also full of a LOT of baking)

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(Downtown Charlottesville, Va)

Filled with the anticipation of cooler weather, September arrived like a long lost friend. Birthday's, leading a Girls Book Study, working, and caring for the day-to-day tasks...the hands of time ticked quietly by.

My reminder of the Lord's Faithfulness

Some of our favorites!

I traveled up to Massachusetts and Connecticut towards the end of September to visit some dear friends, hold LOTS of babies, and kidnap Rachel to come home for a few days! Our little Spudnut turned 16 on September 30th, so our activities were centered around gearing up for our Fall-themed party! What an incredibly sweet few weeks....and how tenderly cared for and provided for I am by my Heavenly Father. My sustainer, financial counselor, and giver of Wisdom! All my travelings, my baking projects, my surprises, my conversations--all filled my heart with the encouragement of Christ. How sweet it is to trust in Him, to press close under the safety of His wings. 

(My email buddy Korrin and I)

 There are always so many things to add--so many stories to share--but (as usual) I've probably already swamped with you with covering the TINY bit that our summer included. All I can say is...I am continually humbled at this life I have been given. Through heartache, struggles, health issues, financial struggles and doubt--Christ is there. Through joy, laughter, provision, strength, encouragement, and new friendships--Christ is there. No matter where I am, how I feel, or my circumstances, Christ IS there. He gives me the greatest, most memorable adventures. And Summer 2016 was no exception. ;) 

Here we come October!

Love, 

Furthering Friendships in Spontaneous Ways ;)

My Little Levi

Things have been quiet in my house, at least blog post-wise. From my end, the last 2 months have literally been non-stop. As soon as I got home from being gone for over an entire month, I came home to 2+ weddings/wedding prep, planning a baby shower, baking for events, cleaning houses, and a bucket load of other things. It's been insane. So, this blog post is more of a little blip of hosting my friends baby shower.

On my way home from Canada, my friend Jessie found out that she and her husband are moving to Massachusetts this month (they left yesterday), driving through Va, and had no clue when they would be back. I had previously told her I wanted to throw her a baby shower, so I had 3 weeks to plan! :) Talk about adventurous ;). A lot of prayer and planning went in to it--my sisters can attest to the fact--and it went so sweetly!

We were able to host it at a local church

And we decided to do a tea party, regardless of the gender!

Our bountiful fare

My sisters Aimee (peeking around the door) and Rachel were SUCH an

incredible blessing! We got to the church, turned on some swingin' big band music

and went to town decorating! It was so much fun and such a gift from God to 

be able to do what we enjoy together. 

We decided to have a teaparty, regardless of the fact that the baby 

is a boy. But I'm sure he would've enjoyed it himself ;)

And I was also excited to pull out my teacup collection :)

So many sweet presents and cards!

And a LOT of laughter! 

Official note-taker

The little man even had his photograph hung up ;)

The neatest part was being able to spend some really good time just praying for 

Jessie and Andrew as they transition into moving AND parenthood. 

The little boy will be named Levi Daniel Kircher. My prayer for him is that he will truly become a man in character similar to those whose names he carries. That just as the tribe of Levi were a people set apart specifically for the purpose of serving God, I pray little Levi will be set apart and sealed for the kingdom at a young age. Then, just as Daniel in the bible possessed a boldness and a fixed eye on the Lord, I pray that Levi will cling to his God, despite what everyone else around him will do. I want this little man to love Jesus more than anything, and I pray that God will give Jessie and Andrew wisdom in "training (their) child in the way he should go" (Prov. 22:6).

I can't wait to see Levi (coming Jan. 2014) and watch him grow! I am confident of God's plan for him, and am excited for my sweet friend to become what she's always wanted--a mommy. :)

Love, 

Pure. Simply Pure.

One of the things I really love about God is how he speaks in completely unpredictable and seemingly "random" verses. For me, I usually get some of the most profound lessons when I read Old testament prophets OR in the really short books. For instance, Jude. When was the last time you ever heard anyone quote the book of Jude?! *See my previous post...haha* However, during our time in Canada (family vacation), God brought me across a portion of scripture that I love, but had completely forgotten about!

"Yea, at that time I will change the speech of 
the peoples to a pure speech,

that all may call on the name of the Lord, 

and serve him with one accord [...]

for I will leave in the midst of you

a people humble and lowly."
-Zephaniah 3:9, 12-

The last 2 weeks I have been yearning for a true purity of my heart--well, truthfully, a purifying of the world too, if I'm completely honest. Right now there is so much anger, fear, and sin growing at an incredible rate. It makes me long for Jesus to come and do what Zephaniah wrote down: to change the speech of the peoples to a pure speech (coming from pure hearts), and cause us to be a people of humility and serving! Even more, to have Him in our midst! :) I read these verses while in Canada, then God gave me a small glimpse into a taste of that sweet day one day while we were there. Some of us young ladies (the youngest being 19) now own Medieval dresses, through God's provision (another cool story). Even if it seems like a small thing, God provided money for dresses and the time to actually do something fun with them--like a photoshoot. :)

(L-R: Miriam, Me, Sarah, Tai and Hannah)

Though it may seem strange to some people, it was honestly one of the sweetest hours of my life. Dressing up, merely for fun, with young women who love Jesus more than anything, who seek to put others above themselves and yearn for the true innocence that comes from the Lord. It makes my heart rejoice just writing that :). Having friends who you never have to worry about crude gross jokes, foul language or even false humility...all I could think about as we were roaming around the fields was that this is exactly what Heaven will feel like. :)

Those who love Jesus with their whole hearts, 

Who have been refined by fire,

Sitting and talking about Jesus--and He will be sitting there with us!

The truly incredible thing is that God IS able to do the purifying work even now. Today. All we have to do is ask. Ask Him to wash us clean. Ask Him to forgive us. Ask Him to purify us, and give us clean hearts and a brand new Spirit. And honestly, He will. :)

In anticipation of that sweet day,