I want to share a little story with you. This summer, while my family was in Canada, I had a chance to talk with one of my "big brothers". For those of you who know my family, we don't actually have any brothers. Yet God has blessed me so much with some dear brothers-in-Christ, who feel like they are actually blood related! So I was talking with my "brother" Gabe about what God had been teaching me and he began sharing things that God has done in his own life this year. Gabe currently has a 2 month old daughter, and he occasionally has to get up in the middle of the night to take care of her. One of these nights, God met him as he was praying in the midst of caring for his daughter. As Gabe was praying, suddenly his favorite movie from years ago came to his mind--a movie that he actually gave up because he felt it was against God (This friend and his family have actually gotten rid of their TV/videos/game systems years ago). Although he had thrown out the movie years ago, God walked him through the movie, showing him the intense violence and other things that actually are offensive to the pure Spirit of God. Gabe was able actually apologize to God for willing watching something that was repulsive to God, and to ask Jesus to forgive him. It was so neat to hear him talk about it and to see the continuing work of purifying and cleansing in Gabe, especially because I know how much he loves the Lord!
About 2 or 3 days after we arrived home from Canada, I was cleaning the house and suddenly I felt an urge to go up to my room and pray. So I went quietly into my room and began to pray earnestly. Suddenly, I started thinking of "random" things--movie titles, books I used to read, and computer games I played when I was a young teenager. I was immediately taken aback, because all of the things that were scrolling through my head were things that Lord had previously asked me to give up years ago. Finally I realized I should probably be paying close attention, so I grabbed a pen and began to list all the movies I used to watch, the games I used to play, and the books I formerly read as they came to me. It was quite a list. Some of the things I hadn't thought about in years.
You know, from an outside perspective, most of the movies and things I was watching/reading "weren't that bad".....YET, even though they were normal to the people around me, they actually grieved the Spirit of God. I know that as soon as I watched those movies, Jesus left the room. Some of the movies looked harmless to me...except for the fact that they broke God's law---a law that I want to (and have chosen to) follow because of my love for my Savior! As I was praying, God began to walk me through my past and scroll through parts in different movies and games. Things like violence, sensuality, lust, taking the Lord's name in vain (which, by the way, is almost impossible to find a movie that doesn't), and also things that encouraged rebelling against my parent's authority. One of the main games was a game that had magic in it---witchcraft specifically. It started out a fun game, but little by little, it would take you nearer and nearer to a certain part of the game where there was a ring of magic that I know is evil. I thank the Lord that He protected me at a young age and caused me to throw the game away, even before I got too far into the levels. I was young and didn't really think about it, but when God showed me that it was actually evil and in opposition to His sweet spirit, it kind of put things into perspective.
After I began listing and asking the Lord for forgiveness, I started feeling clean! Like, squeaky clean! The more I asked for forgiveness, the lighter my heart felt, and the more I wanted to come up with more things to apologize for! :) Haha! I call this part the "fine tuning" in my heart, because although I had dealt with getting rid of them physically, God began detail "spot cleaning" and cleaning small spaces in my heart that I hadn't realized were still dirty. I asked the Lord to break any ties that were still attached to my heart, clean me up, and fill me with his sweet spirit. And He did. Let's just say that the Joy of the Lord is unlike any kind of happiness that this world holds out to us!
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All I know is that I want Jesus to be my closest friend. I don't want to exclude him from any area of my life. I know there are things in my life that He is still working on---in fact even this week He asked me to give him 2 things that I have been holding on to**---and every time I have given something up for the Lord, I have never regretted it. Ever. In fact, I feel miserable when I don't give up the things He has asked of me! So as I continue to ask the Lord to show me things in my own life, I would challenge you today, dear friend, to ask the Lord if there is anything in your life (past or present) that hurts Him, or is grieving his Spirit. Ask him about the movies you're watching, the music you listen to (Christian music too! Seriously, just because it's "christian" doesn't mean you should always listen to it!), and the books you read. When He points out things, because He always does,get rid of them, ask for his forgiveness, and ask him to wash you completely clean! You will feel the burdens of sin and dirt lift from your shoulders AND your heart!
In His Sweet Name,
In His Sweet Name,
**Another story for another time
P.s. If you have any questions about why I feel like God has asked me to give up TV/certain movies/books, or just have questions about anything I wrote today, feel free to email me at anna.dumaresq@gmail.com.
