Only Believe

Well, time most certainly flies. I apologize for my bit of an absence-- last 2 1/2 months have just kind of....flown by? One reason, mainly is because we've been a bit busy! Bible studies, lots of snow, me taking spontaneous trips....the days kind of quickly pass when you least expect them to!

We have been having quite the winter--lots more snow!

15 inches, this particular day.

Our dog looked like a dolphin, bobbing in

and out of the snow :)

I slipped up to Massachusetts a over 2 weeks ago to see my friend Jessie and

 her new little baby boy Levi Daniel!

He is so precious!

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Another reason for a bit of a silence is that God is taking me through another season of intense prayer, wrestling, and waiting on the Lord. I have been praying a lot for my family, for our struggles, our infirmities, and even just what serving God is supposed to look like for us as a family. I want to do another post about some of the things I am learning while praying, but just know that as you pray, KEEP PERSEVERING. KEEP MOVING FORWARD! I wish my caps lock was bigger, but KEEP GOING! :) Jesus is not deaf, nor apathetic to your prayers.

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Why do I say this? A few weeks ago, I was really struggling. I was starting to feel that I had kind of slipped off God's radar temporarily, feeling useless, unfruitful and, as I was watching friends get married and have kids, feeling that odd fear of "Oh,  no...I'm being left behind." So, I turned to my best friend. I asked Jesus for strength, for faith, and for the quiet perseverance to wait on Him. As I was reading my Bible, He gave me a verse "Do not be afraid any longer, only believe" (Mark 5:36).

"Well...that was timely....as usual."

I clung to those verses (and still am), as a promise that God has not forgotten about me and does have a purpose for using my hands to labor in His fields.

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AND THEN...DUN DUN DUNNNN.

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That Sunday, our pastor opened up his Bible to--you guessed it--Mark 5! I will give you a little bit of a summary, although I really encourage you to read it for yourself:

Mark, starting in verse 21, describes how Jesus had just crossed over the sea, and was (as always) quickly surrounded by a large crowd. As He walks through the crowds, healing and ministering to people, He is suddenly approached by a synagogue official. This man, Jarius, threw himself at Jesus' feet pleading earnestly for Jesus to come and heal his daughter. His little girl, around the age of 12, was dying. "Please come and lay hands on her, so that she will get well and live", he implored (Mark 5:23). Jesus immediately began to follow Jarius to his home, pressing through the crowd. As they pressed through, a woman who had been bleeding for 12 years reached out her hand to touch Jesus, knowing He was her only hope and believing He could make her well. She was right, for as soon as she touched Him, she was healed! (By the way, for those of you who are not familiar with the customs, she was considered ceremonially unclean for 12 years and therefore could not make sacrifices or mingle with those who were "clean"...that's a BIG problem). Jesus knew she had been healed and had stopped to speak with her, saying "Daughter, your faith has made you well, go in peace and be healed of your affliction". While Jesus was still speaking to her, men from Jarius' home came and told him the devastating news--his little girl had died. They urged Jarius to stop bothering Jesus and to come home to mourn. Jesus turned and looked at Jarius--"Do not be afraid any longer, only believe".  Jesus went to Jarius home and, after baffling the assembled mourners by putting them out of the house and saying that the child was only sleeping, Jesus commanded the girl to get up. The child, lying on the bed, immediately got up and began to walk. They were all astounded!

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First off, isn't it interesting that Jarius' daughter had been alive for the same amount of years that woman had been suffering with her illness? Pretty intriguing. Throughout this entire story, as I re-read it, I kept thinking about Jarius. Jarius was a synagogue official--He had status and was considered a man of importance. In a time where Jesus was saying things that were unbelievable and hard for the teachers and scribes to understand, this man threw aside his own pride and cast himself at Jesus mercy. He loved his daughter, and humbled himself in order to receive her life back. He showed humility in a crowd of people in his own town....at Jesus' mercy. Can you imagine his delight when Jesus began to follow him to his own house!?

Then. A distraction occurs. Not only does this man, Jesus and the apostles have to press through an enormous crowd, but there's a woman who needs Jesus too. I keep thinking of what Jarius must have been thinking--what was he doing during all of this? His daughter is dying...yet Jesus took the time to speak with this woman who needed help for 12 years. But Jarius said nothing. While Jesus was still speaking to the woman, Jarius' servants came and gave him the news he never wanted to hear--his little child was gone. What did he do? As they urged him to leave Jesus alone about the matter, Jarius said nothing. He looked to Jesus. Jesus said calmly and (I can bet you) gently "Do not be afraid any longer, only believe." What did Jarius do? He said nothing, but walked quietly beside Jesus, in expectation that He would take a heartbreaking situation and bring life from it. Can you imagine the heart drop he had when, upon reaching his house, he saw the mourners already wailing on behalf of his daughter and...himself? Yet Jesus said "Why make a commotion and weep? The child has not died, but is asleep." Ignoring the laughter and crazy looks, Jesus brought 3 apostles, Jarius and his wife into the bedroom where the body of the child lay. Jesus picked up the little girls' hand, looking at her, said "Little girl, I say to you, get up!"...and she opened her eyes and obeyed. Jarius had stepped out in humility, obeyed in quiet trust and was able to see the fruit of where he chose to put his trust--life through Jesus Christ.

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I want that. I want to have the same reaction as Jarius--when situations seem hopeless, when it seems like God has "detoured", when I feel like God isn't working "quickly enough for me", to instead look directly at Jesus. Do not be afraid any longer, only believe. Instead of crying and complaining over fears, panicking over illness, worrying about things that are out of my control or even about my life-- to instead, fall in step behind my Master. I want to always choose humility and trust in the one who breathes Life into dry bones. Trust and Obey. Plus, just as Jesus healed a woman on the way to Jaruis's home, you never know what He is doing on the way to visiting your house! :)

Trusting and walking quietly behind the Giver of Life,





Come and Drink

One of the most remarkable things to me about the Old Testament is how it points to Jesus. It points to the Gospel, to our Salvation, to our freedom from the slavery of sin and the expectancy of Heaven. It is pretty amazing. Last night, I met a friend at a restaurant for our weekly Bible Study. We have been walking through Exodus together and I have looked forward to every meeting! :) How often do we get a chance to plunk our Bibles down on a visible table and pray for each other in public?

As we were talking, we just began discussing in depth about the incredible things God did and how it is such a testimony for us as followers of Christ. One main pattern I have been noting is how God always causes His people to be thrust into situations where we have the opportunity to trust Him, see His hand, AND He gets the glory--or we can run and complain. The latter usually ends up in discipline or separation from Him. : / Or also thinking about how much patience He has with us! Whew. He has a lot of patience.  Sometimes I think with me, especially. :D

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But one of the things God showed me last night was this:

" When they came to Marah, they could not drink the water of Marah because it was bitter; therefore it was named Marah (bitterness). And the people murmured against Moses, saying "what shall we drink?" And he cried to the Lord; And the Lord showed him a tree,

and he threw it into the water, and the water became sweet."
-Exodus 15:23-25-

Initial reaction: "Oh, huh, cool. He did another miracle!".

That was my first reaction too. Over a million people, walking around in a desert, needing water. The only immediate source of water was a body of water, but it was incredibly bitter. Imagine needing something desperately, it seeming to be right in front of you, yet you cannot physically bring yourself to drink it?  God heard the cry of His servant Moses, and showed Him a tree, which turned the bitter into sweet. The undrinkable into refreshing.

God showed me something a little different, in addition to how incredibly He provides for His children. As a Christian, the Lord leads us all over the places in our walk with Him--through deserts, mountains, cool misty mornings, and dry barren lands. His purposes include 1) testing us by actually having us put into practice what we profess with our mouths and 2) conforming us into the image of Christ. As a christian, we often are brought to places where we are required to drink a bitter cup. Often it "looks" like disappointment of great aspirations, death of a loved one, being falsely accused, etc. It tastes horrible--often causing our noses to crinkle and the usual "bleck!!!" face, as we push it away in disgust. We would usually do anything to not have to drink it. However, like water is a necessity to keep us physically alive, difficulties are a necessity to keep us spiritually alive. We grow spiritually by being tested spiritually, and God draws us to himself even more closely during these times. As Moses cried out to God, so should we cry out to Him. For He hears us. Just as simple as that.  In the same way the Lord pointed Moses to the tree, so does He point us to a tree--The Tree of Calvary. The tree upon which a blameless man named Jesus surrendered himself, in order that we might live.

When we submit ourselves to Christ, bearing that cross while fixing our eyes on Jesus, God causes a sweetness to spring forth. Not one that we would necessarily volunteer to GULP down buckets of pain, but when we willingly put ourselves in Jesus' hands--saying "Lord, I don't understand, but I don't have to. I choose to trust you. I choose obedience to One who knows better"--He does something incredible.

He gives us Himself.

He gives us His peace, His joy, His love, His promises, His faithfulness, His companionship--Himself. How incredibly precious is it to enter into hardship with the God who created your soul, and knows every part of your DNA because He made it? He causes the bitter to become bearable because of the sweetness of himself. Praise God!

Like I said, just a little different perspective but a good reminder for myself in pressing forward! As you press forward this next week, seek obedience and trust, even in difficulty. Then, as you take a sip of every situation, with your eyes fixed on the Cross, watch as He fills you with Joy and Peace. When you cling to Him, He will not fling you off callously, despite our unworthiness. He will gather you gently in His arms, put His hand on your head, and will carry you. For our Lord is Gentle, Pure, Kind, full of Mercy and Tenderness. He is beyond worthy of all we can give! :)

In Him,