Only Believe

Well, time most certainly flies. I apologize for my bit of an absence-- last 2 1/2 months have just kind of....flown by? One reason, mainly is because we've been a bit busy! Bible studies, lots of snow, me taking spontaneous trips....the days kind of quickly pass when you least expect them to!

We have been having quite the winter--lots more snow!

15 inches, this particular day.

Our dog looked like a dolphin, bobbing in

and out of the snow :)

I slipped up to Massachusetts a over 2 weeks ago to see my friend Jessie and

 her new little baby boy Levi Daniel!

He is so precious!

~

Another reason for a bit of a silence is that God is taking me through another season of intense prayer, wrestling, and waiting on the Lord. I have been praying a lot for my family, for our struggles, our infirmities, and even just what serving God is supposed to look like for us as a family. I want to do another post about some of the things I am learning while praying, but just know that as you pray, KEEP PERSEVERING. KEEP MOVING FORWARD! I wish my caps lock was bigger, but KEEP GOING! :) Jesus is not deaf, nor apathetic to your prayers.

~

Why do I say this? A few weeks ago, I was really struggling. I was starting to feel that I had kind of slipped off God's radar temporarily, feeling useless, unfruitful and, as I was watching friends get married and have kids, feeling that odd fear of "Oh,  no...I'm being left behind." So, I turned to my best friend. I asked Jesus for strength, for faith, and for the quiet perseverance to wait on Him. As I was reading my Bible, He gave me a verse "Do not be afraid any longer, only believe" (Mark 5:36).

"Well...that was timely....as usual."

I clung to those verses (and still am), as a promise that God has not forgotten about me and does have a purpose for using my hands to labor in His fields.

~

AND THEN...DUN DUN DUNNNN.

~

That Sunday, our pastor opened up his Bible to--you guessed it--Mark 5! I will give you a little bit of a summary, although I really encourage you to read it for yourself:

Mark, starting in verse 21, describes how Jesus had just crossed over the sea, and was (as always) quickly surrounded by a large crowd. As He walks through the crowds, healing and ministering to people, He is suddenly approached by a synagogue official. This man, Jarius, threw himself at Jesus' feet pleading earnestly for Jesus to come and heal his daughter. His little girl, around the age of 12, was dying. "Please come and lay hands on her, so that she will get well and live", he implored (Mark 5:23). Jesus immediately began to follow Jarius to his home, pressing through the crowd. As they pressed through, a woman who had been bleeding for 12 years reached out her hand to touch Jesus, knowing He was her only hope and believing He could make her well. She was right, for as soon as she touched Him, she was healed! (By the way, for those of you who are not familiar with the customs, she was considered ceremonially unclean for 12 years and therefore could not make sacrifices or mingle with those who were "clean"...that's a BIG problem). Jesus knew she had been healed and had stopped to speak with her, saying "Daughter, your faith has made you well, go in peace and be healed of your affliction". While Jesus was still speaking to her, men from Jarius' home came and told him the devastating news--his little girl had died. They urged Jarius to stop bothering Jesus and to come home to mourn. Jesus turned and looked at Jarius--"Do not be afraid any longer, only believe".  Jesus went to Jarius home and, after baffling the assembled mourners by putting them out of the house and saying that the child was only sleeping, Jesus commanded the girl to get up. The child, lying on the bed, immediately got up and began to walk. They were all astounded!

~

First off, isn't it interesting that Jarius' daughter had been alive for the same amount of years that woman had been suffering with her illness? Pretty intriguing. Throughout this entire story, as I re-read it, I kept thinking about Jarius. Jarius was a synagogue official--He had status and was considered a man of importance. In a time where Jesus was saying things that were unbelievable and hard for the teachers and scribes to understand, this man threw aside his own pride and cast himself at Jesus mercy. He loved his daughter, and humbled himself in order to receive her life back. He showed humility in a crowd of people in his own town....at Jesus' mercy. Can you imagine his delight when Jesus began to follow him to his own house!?

Then. A distraction occurs. Not only does this man, Jesus and the apostles have to press through an enormous crowd, but there's a woman who needs Jesus too. I keep thinking of what Jarius must have been thinking--what was he doing during all of this? His daughter is dying...yet Jesus took the time to speak with this woman who needed help for 12 years. But Jarius said nothing. While Jesus was still speaking to the woman, Jarius' servants came and gave him the news he never wanted to hear--his little child was gone. What did he do? As they urged him to leave Jesus alone about the matter, Jarius said nothing. He looked to Jesus. Jesus said calmly and (I can bet you) gently "Do not be afraid any longer, only believe." What did Jarius do? He said nothing, but walked quietly beside Jesus, in expectation that He would take a heartbreaking situation and bring life from it. Can you imagine the heart drop he had when, upon reaching his house, he saw the mourners already wailing on behalf of his daughter and...himself? Yet Jesus said "Why make a commotion and weep? The child has not died, but is asleep." Ignoring the laughter and crazy looks, Jesus brought 3 apostles, Jarius and his wife into the bedroom where the body of the child lay. Jesus picked up the little girls' hand, looking at her, said "Little girl, I say to you, get up!"...and she opened her eyes and obeyed. Jarius had stepped out in humility, obeyed in quiet trust and was able to see the fruit of where he chose to put his trust--life through Jesus Christ.

~

I want that. I want to have the same reaction as Jarius--when situations seem hopeless, when it seems like God has "detoured", when I feel like God isn't working "quickly enough for me", to instead look directly at Jesus. Do not be afraid any longer, only believe. Instead of crying and complaining over fears, panicking over illness, worrying about things that are out of my control or even about my life-- to instead, fall in step behind my Master. I want to always choose humility and trust in the one who breathes Life into dry bones. Trust and Obey. Plus, just as Jesus healed a woman on the way to Jaruis's home, you never know what He is doing on the way to visiting your house! :)

Trusting and walking quietly behind the Giver of Life,





A Cheerful Face

Some days, I just want to be grumpy. I want to walk around, looking like my body feels--tired and wilted. Sometimes I don't want to think "What Would Jesus Do?" because I know that will bring me out of my "woe is me" mentality. And to my flesh, selfishness feels good, plus grumpy sometimes seems easier than being cheerful.

~

You weren't expecting that, huh?  Well, I've been thinking about words and actions the last few days. When you feel like you have excuses--sometimes several--it is SO easy to slip into a mentality of "I'm not doing well, and I don't want to act like I am fine" OR " I need someone to comfort me". This is one area the Lord really challenges me in, especially the last year. I have been tested, re-tested and re-RE-tested (I am apparently hard headed) with issues, challenging my faith AND my heart attitude. God allowed testing through stomach issues, burns, bad hip problems, poor circulation, migraines, and now some intense back pain because He desires me to trust Him with my whole heart and not rely on my own capabilities, strength OR on others for comfort. There are times in which God has put his hand over my mouth in order to keep me from spilling my complaints to others--He wants me to run to HIM and trust HIM first. Cheerfully!

~

 As it gets closer to the 1-year marker of getting burned (which I actually am planning a blog post about that, but you can get a quick reminder here : http://cheerfulquill.blogspot.com/2013/01/annas-story.html ), one of my biggest regrets about this time was the fact that I did not keep a continual cheerful heart and keep glorifying God as much as I needed to. I was so sick of dealing with TONS of minor details in taking care of myself AND feeling physically/ spiritually exhausted, that I let my heart slip into a place of self-pity. Others may say "well, you had good reason to be" and "compared to others, you were great!", but I disagree. You see, Jesus looks at the heart. What is my heart saying when my leg is burning with pain, my feet are turning blue because of poor circulation, I haven't had time with Jesus and I have to remember to take my inhaler because of my lungs filling? I may be smiling, but what is my heart whispering? Am I praising God for life, for my family, for good care? Or am I continually asking "why me, Lord?!".

The enemy wants us to stay in selfishness and thinking about our problems, so THAT'S when we know we need to run back to Jesus quickly! So the question is HOW do we do this? How to do we cultivate a cheerful heart? I am thrilled you asked. ;)

1) Humble yourself and take a look at your sin---look at the thoughts of your heart when your parents tell you to do something, when you keep getting interrupted while working, OR when you receive an answer that you truly did NOT want. It's pretty ugly, huh?

2) Repent and ask Jesus to clean you up. Actually say "I'm sorry" to the Lord, because it's against HIM that we have sinned. Sin is not just some distant bad thing, it is actually an action against our Heavenly Father. So, saying that we are sorry and meaning it? That's really important AND very special to Jesus.

3) Ask God to help and grant you cheerfulness, despite your day-to-day scenario. It is the times when we DON'T want to think "what would Jesus really do?" that are the MOST important times for us to ask that question. When I am about to grumble in my heart (usually over-spilling from my mouth), think about the character of Jesus and would he actually refuse to help someone? Would he roll his eyes at his parents or get angry when he was interrupted? (By the way, I challenge you to look up Mark 6:34, and Matthew 14:14 in his responses to having people need him all the time). Ask Jesus to fill you with Joy!

4) Think on verses that encourage you to trust God and rejoice in him, no matter how you FEEL. Because Jeremiah 17:9 says that "The heart is more deceitful than all else, and is desperately sick;". We can't trust our hearts to be our guides, despite what Disney says. Verses are one of our defenses against the enemy, because even he knows how powerful the Word of God is. Find verses special to you and memorize them!

(One of mine is "The Joy of the Lord is your strength!" (Nehemiah 8:10) )

5) SING. Sing even if you can't sing. Sing even if the dogs howl with you. :) Scripture says that praise is becoming to the upright (psalms 33:1-3). When we willing choose to sing and praise God, it gets our focus OFF ourselves and back on Jesus, our moods will change and our hearts will start to rejoice. Try it and see. ;)


So, as I am seeking to continually pursue a cheerful and joyful heart, I challenge you this week to do the same. Make a conscious effort to take every thought captive, especially the grumbling ones, and ask the Lord to forgive you and change your heart! Then start praising him!

Rejoicing in the God of My Salvation!