What 2017 Gave Me: A Lesson in Honesty, Trust, and Letting Go

Happy New Year, folks. It's hard to believe that we have finally landed in the year 2018.  It is also hard to believe that I haven't posted anything since AUGUST. *gulp*

Just to recap.

September: Full of new experiences -- running the Charlottesville Women's 4Miler, adventuring through New York City, continuing to get into the swing of my new crazy life schedule, corn-mazes with friends, camping trips, and throwing Spudnut a crazzzzyyy surprise "sweet 17" party. 

October: I slipped down to my family's cabin with my sisters and a friend for a much-needed weekend retreat on the lake. October also found my sister Rachel moving back home after some unforeseen circumstances, which brought some changes to the house--and a lot of sunshine. <3 Numerous hikes, exploring sunflower fields, football games, and some incredible sunrises filled my Fall!

November: Exploring parts of Canada, adventuring through Boston, local waterfalls, a true southern-style huge family Thanksgiving and also visiting my godchildren! Basically...I was gone a lot. Heh.

(Rudd Family Thanksgiving 2017)

December: Toss in some more hiking, crazy adventures, work, 2018 adventure planning, AND CHRISTMAS. Throw in a ugly sweater New Year's party, a bunch of hours in the car and about 300 hours worth of loudly sung Christmas carols....and that's pretty much a wrap up of the last few months. 

(Charli, Rachel, Aimee and myself)

(Blue Ridge Mountains)

(Gettysburg, PA)

_

If you follow me on Instagram (annadumaresq), you may have also picked up that I had some difficult things going on this year. There were a lot of unseen "growing pains" occurring. Some of the growth that occurred brought joy; however, some of the growth brought a lot of painful awareness. Truthfully, as 2018 approached, I realized how much my heart was hurting. The year 2017 has been a roller-coaster of lessons. Lessons in trust. Lessons in humility. Lessons in healthy emotional boundaries. Lessons on letting go. I think I needed a reminder of how desperately this world needs Jesus--christians and non-believers alike. We all need Jesus every single day. This year made me remember why. 

The big thing that the Lord had to tenderly (but painfully) reveal to me in 2017 was how much I trusted others above HIM. I ran to others for help (emotionally and mentally) before I thoroughly exhausted HIS help. Just to remind you...His help can't be exhausted. ;) 

Just like any good caretaker, He started pruning things that were causing me to be weighed down or preventing me from seeing HIM clearly--the wholeness that comes from a relationship with HIM. Not from friendships, not from romantic relationships, not from spouses or MONEY. In Jesus Christ. He pruned some friendships that I held too tightly. He pruned hidden pride. He pruned the over-self-reliance. I have been facing tough questions that I wish with every fiber of my core that I had answers to--questions like..."why won't God heal me" and "why did they hurt me". I've been rendered silent because I can't actually answer these questions--some of these are answered with a quiet choice to believe in the unblemished goodness of God's character. You never can fully comprehend the intimacy of a friendship with Christ until He is your ALL. No backups. No plan "B". Jesus Christ has to become ALL.

Honest moment: As all this was happening, I slowly watched myself emotionally withdrawing from a lot of social circles. Not that it's a horrible thing (especially since I'm an introvert..hehe)...it's just that...I really have a hard time trusting people with my whole self. I know we all tend to have a hard time opening up to people, but I've seen a lot of hypocrisy in my twenty-some years. I've seen Christians shred each other to pieces. People see the goofy, smiling side--but very few see the deep things I'm passionate about. Few people see the things that make me cry. After I found my heart healed this summer from something that happened about 4 years ago, I could feel a joyful willingness to know and be known by those around me. I wanted to share the passion and convictions that burned in the core of my heart. Heading into 2018, I know that some of the things that happened this fall caused me to falter in the freedom I had obtained. I rebuilt some walls that need to be broken down again. I need to gain that ground back from the enemy's camp....and by the grace of God, I'm going to.

Anyways. Long story short. 

I don't know where 2018 found you. Maybe you're sailing through life, maybe you're newly engaged, maybe you just found out you are expecting a child, maybe you just got your dream job. Or...maybe not. Maybe you just lost your baby...or watched the test come up "negative" again for being pregnant. Maybe you watched a future you built up crumble between your fingers. Maybe you're not the same person you were January 2017. Maybe you love who you are today. Maybe you feel like a little boat without an anchor--being tossed around from wave to wave. Maybe you're looking for a reason to live one more day. 

Wherever you are--you aren't alone. I don't know why it takes pain and weakness for us to truly LEARN who God is--and the significance of WHY Jesus had to come to earth. But if I learned anything this year, I have witnessed that it is at our complete darkest that the light of Christ has capacity to shine the brightest. I have relearned that I can't let the devil use circumstances to cloud my perspective of God. I have relearned that when we stand empty-handed before God, He fills us up and gives us the sweetest gift--Himself. I don't have all the answers to these big questions. But He is a big God. He is undaunted by my fear, my growing pains...and my BIG questions. He's ready for YOUR big questions.

So I leave you with a 2018 reminder of who God is--yesterday, today, and forever. 

- God is full of LIGHT. Pure light. 

"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all." // 1 John 1:5

- God WILL take care of you.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? // Matthew 6:26

-God does not and CANNOT lie. He WILL bring to pass every promise concerning you. 

"God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? // Numbers 23:19

-God is your shield--your defender and shelter. 

"As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him." // Psalm 18:30

-God is full of compassion for you. 

"The LORD is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.// Psalm 116:5

-God is just. He is a righteous judge and the wicked will not go unpunished.

"And the heavens proclaim his righteousness, for he is a God of justice." // Psalm 50:6

-God is a present friend...He takes up our everyday burdens and puts them on Himself. 

"Praise be to the lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens" // Psalm 68:19

-

Wherever you are today--be it rejoicing or wrestling--choose to rest in the promises of God. Even when you don't understand or can't "see"...choose the childlike faith in a Father who fulfills every promise and is undaunted by our fears. He will never leave you! Trust Him.  

Happy New Year, friend. 

In Him, 

What Love is Not - Getting to the Root

     Christians and non-believers alike are all keenly familiar with 1 Corinthians 13. The LOVE chapter. Usually gracing the middle of wedding ceremonies, the list scrolls: "Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres". There are so many lessons in this text! What is this envy which challenges Love? What is this boasting which damages love? What does a protecting love look like? How can we persevere in Love? How do we do it all?!

 

    

     Recently, I have been mulling over the five words "Love is not self seeking". What does it mean to be self seeking? Is it really just selfishness...wanting your own way all the time? As believers (and hopefully mature adults...;)), it is kind of understood that we won't be going "gimme, gimme, gimme" all the time. We should not be hearing of major tantrums when someone takes something we wanted. We shouldn't be irate when someone gets a position we wanted -- whether it is on the Worship team or a position at our job. Where the Spirit of Christ is working, there should be an offering of preference extended to others. We SHOULD be going out of our way to show graciousness, mercy and generosity. 

-

     BUT. What I HAVE been thinking on are the sneaky little self-seeking thoughts that so often tiptoe their way into our minds. The thoughts that unconsciously can take root and grow into a stubborn weed. When someone says something with a "tone". When someone wears something we deem 'inappropriate' to church. When we see someone who seems to be better friends than we are with people. When we compare ourselves, our relationship with Christ, our physical appearance, our ANYTHING with others. When we get our feelings hurt. When someone makes a mistake which we think "foolish". When we see others with SO many more gifting than we see within ourselves. Note that I said WHEN....not IF. We are going to encounter each of these things. Someone WILL offend us (just go get on Facebook..aheh...). Someone WILL have a 'tone'--whether intentional or because of life stress spilling over into our conversation. Someone WILL be more "gifted" than us. We WILL get our feelings hurt. (We're human! and we aren't in Heaven yet!) ;)

     I, personally, am realizing more and more how sensitive *I* am. I am a conflict avoider, which makes me even MORE aware when there are undertones in voices or in situations  (I'm talking beyond "natural introverted quietness"). When this happens, I fold. I curl up in a ball inside and try to hide. I shut down because I feel helpless to fix things or I assume major guilt for problems I am not a part of. I don't want to get my heart hurt and so I put up a protection of silence. I have found that sometimes I withhold my opinion or my thoughts because someone might be hurt by the Truth...or they might reject ME. Jesus, in His INCREDIBLE kindness, has deemed it quite time to weed this out of my heart. PRAISE THE LORD! I never realized what it fully looks like until we recently had a series of several conflicts. I felt like my eyes were opened up to the way that I respond--which may seem harmless to the outside, but it is actually quite painful to those around me. I was putting myself first by intentionally shutting others out. "I won't let you hurt me" was the foundation I laid, brick by brick. Word by poorly timed word. I was seeking myself first.

-

     As the Lord has been healing my heart of some past wounds, I feel like He is re-teaching me the foundations of Love. Jesus Himself is LOVE---complete surrender to the Fathers will, ultimate giving of His entire life, and choosing to continue caring for us even while we were (and ARE) so unable to repay our debt. His love...His LIFE never was self-seeking. He never shut down when others hurt Him. He knew the Father. He knew where He stood in the Father's affections. He knew His Father's heart. He knew the Scripture. He poured out. He prayed. He walked in the Spirit. He healed, He encouraged, He challenged, and He never STOPPED. 

   So....I've been working on two new lists. I'm calling them "Lists of the Heart". Lists that we, especially as proclaiming Christians, need to fully grasp. If we want the World to actually SEE Jesus, WE have to get out of the way. We have to stop tearing one another down. WE have to make a decision--we have to stand against this. Self-centeredness has no place in the body of Christ. 

"Love is Not"

-Love is not defensive. 

-Love is not suspicious. 

-Love does not assume. 

-Love does not intentionally withhold affection. 

-Love does not withhold Truth. 

-Love does not accept a "defeated mindset" because it is not focused on winning. 

-Love is not self-centered. 

-Love does not build walls. 

-Love does not shut out or down.

-Love does not show partiality. 

-Love does not doubt. 

-Love does not rejoice in other's failures...or missed opportunities. 

-Love does not challenge harshly. 

-Love does not mock. 

-Love does not "lord" over another person. 

-Love is not vindictive (revengeful). 

-Love does not lash out in anger.

-Love doesn't harm. 

-Love does not gossip (speaking ill of another's character, even if "it's true")

"Love IS"

-Love is a defender -- a defender against the lies of the Enemy.

-Love seeks to address conflict without tearing another down.

-Love encourages -- when someone is struggling, Love comes alongside and says "lean on me".

-Love THINKS WELL of others -- even if evidence may suggest otherwise, Love CHOOSES to believe well

-Love GIVES affection without counting the cost. 

-Love generously shares the Truth, in kindness.

-Love shares the burden. 

-Love is Christ-conscious, eyes fixed upward instead of on self. 

-Love tears down walls and opens the door to all who would come in. 

-Love chooses to accept, unbiased. 

-Love rejoices in other's success!

-Love builds up others -- in courage, peace, hope and FAITH. 

-Love serves. 

-Love CHOOSES to forgive...not because they FEEL like it.

-Love pours out. 

-Love does not keep tally on favors. 

-Love speaks well of others. 

     What I want, what I REALLY want, is to fully grasp this. I want all of us to grasp this. What would it look like if we weren't satisfied with addressing only the outward signs of selfishness? What if we actually humbled ourselves enough to stare that weed in the face, and then have the Lord begin to remove it? I want to live out Corinthians. I want to shine the love of Christ--by the power of the Holy Spirit. And the thing is, we CAN'T do any of the above without the help of the Spirit. There is no physical way we can choose selflessness when selfishness comes naturally! But the most amazing thing is that "the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us" (Romans 5:5). God has shown us incredible, selfless Love. In turn, He has given us the Holy Spirit, not only that we might walk in righteousness and LOVE, but so that we might also show HIS love to others. We love because He loved us first (1 John 4:19). It is not just a check list. "oops. I need to work on my patience today". The fruit of the Spirit--or the "evidence" of the Spirit at work--is something that comes as we grow in Christ...as we put to death selfishness and self-centeredness. The Spirit at work within us is shown as we are earnestly pursuing Christ, listening to His voice, reading His Word, and seeking to love others as Christ does. We can't conjure up (and maintain) a life like Corinthians on our own strength. But that's the beauty of Christ. He knows that. :) It is the reason Christ died for us--because we can't save ourselves and we can't make ourselves perfect. But we can believe Him at His word, putting our trust, our hope, our life, and our salvation in the hands of Christ. 

So, friends, pursue Christ. Walk by the Spirit. Choose love--real, selfless love. Even when it's uncomfortable. Even when it seems like that person is unable to love you. And on the days where you stumble, look to Christ. Because "I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" ( Phil. 1:6). By the power of His Spirit and for His glory!

In Christ, 

Hunting for "Christmas Spirit"

Merry Christmas Eve! I don't know if you are anything like me, but I had to look back on this year with wide eyes. This year has been HARD, y'all. So many things have happened for our family--job hunting, health issues, working on relationships, school, volunteering, deaths, beginning new friendships...I actually can't believe it is Christmas already. 

 Truth be told, entering Christmas season was challenging for our family. Not to mention coming right off of the...uh...swarm of election emotions. Honestly, there were a few times I cringed when I thought about Christmas approaching. NOT because I wasn't excited to celebrate Christ, but because I was looking around as people were backbiting, tearing one another down, and "unfriending"--all the while preparing to sing about "goodwill toward men" and "peace on earth"....I really didn't want to "pretend", because it didn't make SENSE. It wasn't the truth. At one point, we were so out of sorts that three of us girls were driving (being really goofy) around the Costco parking lot "hunting for the Christmas Spirit". Needless to say, we couldn't "find" it and were left laughing (and a bit dizzy!). ;)

Still, in the back of my mind this month, I've been wrestling with these questions.

Lord, how can we truly have peace when there IS no peace in our world? How can I show others the Hope I've found when even I'M struggling to have Hope? How can we cling to Joy when people have no joy? How can we rest in Your arms when it feels like we're drowning in the chaos, pride and fear of man? How can we celebrate Your birth when we are wrestling with such discouragement? How do we, as believers, show "the Christmas Spirit" of Joy?

And one of the most reassuring, awesome things I have learned about God as my Father is the fact that He CAN handle our tough questions. He can handle us. :)

I was really praying and crying out to the Lord for help, when He oh so sweetly reminded me of the Truth. The Truth is that despite how we feel right now--we CAN sing about the birth of a Baby, we CAN rejoice in the coming of a Child, we CAN celebrate this small form because He didn't STAY a baby. For His birth wasn't ONLY the miracle of a new life; it was the beginning of a craved Hope. He IS the Messiah. OUR Messiah. HE IS the long awaited Christ. OUR long-awaited Christ. HE IS the one in whom "nations would (and CAN) place their HOPE" (Matthew 12:21). He is the One in whom WE can place our hope. In HIM is forgiveness of sins (Col. 1:14). In fact, He came TO save us from our sins--pride, fear, lust, greed, jealousy, lewdness, bitterness, adultery, witchcraft, and every thing that stands in opposition to a Holy, pure God (Matthew 1:21). He came to bear our burdens (Ps. 69:19). He IS our all in all...in the tiniest, most unassuming gift wrapping. A little, innocent child.

That's just like Christ. Humble. Unassuming. Yet SO powerful, SO true, SO unwavering, SO trustworthy, SO incredible. So very pure.

Tonight as you prepare to celebrate Jesus tomorrow and if you are finding your "Christmas spirit" lacking, just remember this. We don't just celebrate a birthday. We celebrate the birth of Hope. We celebrate the gates of Heaven being opened up to us in a NEW, glorious Way. He IS the promise of eternal life (Romans 6:23). He IS the Redeemer through whom we have been adopted as Children of God--inheritors of a Kingdom of Light (Gal 4:4-5). We celebrate the One who IS Himself JOY. We celebrate the One who IS our Peace, because no one can take Him away from us (Romans 8:31-39), Through Him, we can be freed from our burdens, our fears and our sins. Through one small bundle, so very long ago.

And in THAT, my friends, is every single reason to rest, rejoice and WORSHIP. No matter what, no matter where.

Rejoicing in Him!

Fall into Christmas

I love this time of year. That crisp morning air, newly settled frosts--that hint of Christmas just around the corner. Perfect mornings for coffee. ;)

What a crazy two months it has been. Birthdays, the Election, baking for a Vow renewal, and just everyday LIFE. My dad is on his last stretch of his "busy season". He works with Humana insurance, and October-December is the busiest time of the year for him, as people are "aging" into different plans. He makes a majority of his yearly income in two and a half months...needless to say, it can get a bit stressful for him. ;) So this busy season often becomes a "press in" season for our family. Pressing forward even when things can get hectic, and pressing on in our pursuit of Christ.

Some highlights from the last two months:

Some dear friends of our decided to renew their vows, recommitting to honor and serve one another. 

It was a GORGEOUS, simple ceremony...and I'm pretty sure every single person cried. ;)

I have a running joke with the "Groom" that it's not an event until my cheesecake makes an appearance. Thus, I got to make Carrot Cake Cupcakes (Brides Choice) and the "Grooms Choice" was "Anything that Anna makes" (aka Cheesecakes)

A VERY sweet evening, one highlight being that I got to spend a little time with my Cousin Taylor. Even though we live in the same state, we often don't get to cross paths because of crazy schedules.

I (along with my little sister and a few friends) got to try our first "race". 

 I LOVED it....and you may find me doing it again. ;)

We also chased some sunsets while house-sitting. 

No matter the states I travel to, Virginia will always have my heart.

Thanksgiving was also pretty exciting for our family. We planned to go out of town the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, knowing that Rachel would be "somewhere around the country" and not able to come home. However, Tuesday (while I was at work), I got a call saying "Hey, can you come get me tonight in Staunton?" So, I met Rachel and the Sky Family at 1:00 a.m. in a Walmart parking lot to have Rachel home for Thanksgiving! Needless to say, it was a crazy, sweet, food-filled time. We were also blessed to be able to share one last trip to the cabin with a dear friend who has (now) moved back to Kansas. 

And NOW we are headed into Christmas! Is it just me, or has this year FLOWN?! I'm still sitting here wondering how we got a Tree up so quickly. But on that note, as we head into this Christmas season, I've been praying that the Lord would grant to me a quiet, contemplative spirit. I really want to grasp the incredible gift we have been given--how Someone SO Holy and worthy of continual worship would humble Himself, entrusting Himself to a young "insignificant" couple. We have SO many reasons to be Thankful for our blessings that God has given us every day, but I want to really understand (again) the Glory of the ULTIMATE gift coming to Earth. A gift which we do not deserve. Jesus, the Son of God, born into flesh. A quiet, humble birth. No self-proclamation. No "pomp and circumstance". Just the sweetness of the Holy Spirit and the glorious, perfect ways of a God who cares for us. All so that WE might be free from Sin, from bondage, from addiction--with the ability to walk in fullness of Joy with the expectation of Life with Christ in Eternity. Hallelujah!

Just out of curiosity, what are some ways that you prepare for this Advent & Christmas season? Do you do a Bible study? Do you do Advent readings with your family?

Resting in the Joy of Christ, 

In Case You Forget

In case you need a reminder--a little seed of encouragement: don't give up. Don't hang your head in despair. Do not be afraid of what the future holds (even with the upcoming elections..aheh...). Don't be timid about the unknowns of tomorrow.

You are NOT alone. You have not been left in this world to fend for yourself. You are upheld, little one, in the arms of Christ--the sweetest, safest place to ever seek refuge. He is your Shepherd (Ps. 23), your Deliverer (Ps. 18:2), a husband to the widow (Is. 54:4), and a tower of Refuge. He is your safe place.

NO matter tomorrow, no matter next week, next month or next year: He will hold you fast (Isaiah 41:13). Jesus Christ will carry you through. He will carry you through this trial, this heartbreak, this illness, this death in the family, this period in History--this very day. In Him is no deceit, no lies, no shadow of turning (James 1:17). HE is your beacon of Light amidst darkness. He is your calm within the chaos. He is your peace in the middle of turmoil. CHOOSE to set your Faith within the hands that were stretched out upon a cross for you. Even when you did not know Him...He knew of you. He knows you. He knows your situation. He knows your needs. He knows the cry of your heart. What He sets before you, He will bring you through. He will bring you through your Red Sea--however seemingly impossible.

In case you forget, amidst your topsy turvey life: Jesus wins. Trust Him. Rest in Him. Let your heart find HOPE in His name. He who promises is Faithful (Hebrews 10:23). He will not fail, for He never has.

In Him,

Hello, Handsome

Funny how things can change in the blink of an eye. With a simple ticking of the clock hands, time passes. And life goes on.

~

Things have been a bit quieter in the Dumaresq home these last few weeks. The end of May, we were planning our Florida Vacation for June 6th-15th. The beginning of June found us sitting in the ICU, watching my Grandaddy pass slowly into Eternity. Grandaddy had been in and out of the hospital the past few years; heart trouble, kidney failure, and a host of other problems. This time, the Lord took him home to be with Him. Grandaddy "changed his address" June 8, 2016.

It's funny the things you start thinking about when someone close to you passes away. As I sat in his vacant recliner this morning, I just kept thinking about how much I really loved my granddaddy. He wasn't perfect. But he loved his family, even if he wasn't always sure how to show it. Every time we went to visit, Grandaddy would say "There she is!" and I would answer "Well, hello there Handsome!". I would kiss him on the cheek, heading off to help Grandma with dinner. He had his quirks (like anyone) and he was a TOUGH man. He required honesty, loyalty and integrity in his business dealings. He made me realize the importance of good work ethic. The kind that doesn't stop just because something is difficult. You push through, and you find a way to make it work. OR you find someone to help you make it work.

(End of the Road Farm)

 I remember the first time I stayed with them while my parents were away. He gave me a glass of Orange Juice to make me stop crying. It worked. I probably was the only Rudd who could get away with telling him his grilled steaks were "crunchy" (I was a golden haired 5-year old at the time). I actually tickled Pettus Rudd AND he laughed (I was also about 5 years old). He loved light houses, NASCAR, Ford Trucks, and a hard day's work. He watched Gunsmoke faithfully, and taught me that you can always tell who the good cowboys are by what color hat they wear!

Maybe one day soon, I'll share a bit more of some of the sweet ways God upheld us and strengthened us during these past two weeks. But for now, I just want to leave you with this. Remember that life is brief. Be grateful for each day the Lord gives, and make the most of every single moment.

Can't wait to see you again, Handsome. 

Nearer to Thee

If you follow any of my social media, you would have seen several photos yesterday of baking activities and our sweet country road. What you may NOT know is that--yesterday, I woke up in a funk. I felt like the recipient of the losing side in a game of chicken with a Steam-engine. I couldn't put my finger on why I felt "off". I was exhausted. You should have been here to see my bedhead (...uh..on second thought, maybe not...). In addition to this stunner of a situation, I was informed yesterday that a 20$ inspection turned into replacing several parts on my faithful Ford. *gulp* Technically wasn't THAT much money, but in the thundercloud mood, the thought of having to be careful for a little while with my already slim wallet was a bit overwhelming. I let worry creep in and have a seat within my heart.

It was just one of *those* days.  One where not even my bread rising perfectly, the pitterpatter of rain drops, 12 golden finches bustling about, nor my free donut could pull me out of my little thundercloud. 

(And believe me--if you are a baker and your cinnamon bread rising perfectly doesn't make some part of your heart pitterpatter--you may need to get evaluated)

I was quite downcast all throughout the afternoon. At least, I was until I pulled over for the School Bus.

~

We live on a dirt road (off of a dirt road), which makes it QUITE interesting for two vehicles to attempt to pass one another. I was leisurely puttering my way home when I spotted the white roof of the Bus through the foliage. yikes. As I sped up to pull off into a drive way, the Bus driver passed me, waving an enthusiastic "THANK YOU!!". Letting her pass, I sat staring at the field beside me...and I spotted this.

~

No, Jesus didn't suddenly appear in physical form...but He sent me the simplest reminder in a way which I would understand. He sent me Sunshine. Sunshine through tiny petals on a carpet of vibrant grass. He sent me one of my favorite Hymns "Nearer My God To Thee" at the exact same time I spotted the flowers. He suddenly filled my car with His presence, all while I was waiting for a huge yellow Bus to pass. The Holy Spirit gently prompted me to remember. Christ has called us to so much more than a "good life". He has called us Children. He has redeemed us. He has saved us. He calls us to pick up our Cross--those things which kill the flesh--and to follow after Him. Follow the boldest, most humble man to ever walk on the face of the earth. A man who was 100% human and 100% God. No matter the day or the mood, He is looking for those who will set aside their emotions and cling to the Joy which is found in Christ. The Joy of the Lord is our strength (Neh. 8:10). He loves when we turn our eyes away from our "Goliaths" and confidently say "I trust you Jesus!". He has called us to remember--and to kick Worry to the curb. For if we really look back and remember, we will see that He has never forsaken us. He has never left us alone. We are held gently within the safest arms, for HE holds ALL things in the palm of His hands. Friend, look out your window at His handiwork. Look how He cares for the forests--they faithfully change every season. They don't ever get "stuck" in a season. They are being vibrantly draped in breathtaking colors, with petals covering the mountainside. Remember to lift your face up. For Jesus--our King, our LIGHT, our LIFE--He is near, and drawing US nearer still.

"Nearer My God To Thee"

 Nearer, my God, to thee,
Nearer to thee!
E'en though it be a cross
That raiseth me.
Still all my song shall be

(Chorus)
Nearer, my God, to thee,
Nearer, my God, to thee,
Nearer to thee!

 Though like the wanderer,
The sun gone down,
Darkness be over me,
My rest a stone,
Yet in my dreams I'd be

There let the way appear,
Steps unto heav'n;
All that thou sendest me,
In mercy giv'n;
Angels to beckon me

Then with my waking thoughts
Bright with thy praise,
Out of my stony griefs
Bethel I'll raise;
So by my woes to be

Or if, on joyful wing
Cleaving the sky,
Sun, moon, and stars forgot,
Upward I fly,
Still all my song shall be

 So, today, whether you are fighting the "blues" OR clinging to that joy--take sweet comfort in the God who still speaks in the quietness of a Ford Escape. Set apart some time today to be with Him. Our Savior who is just, but also full of new compassion towards us every single day. A God who is Emmanuel. He is here with us. He is drawing us nearer to Himself, for that is the very best, safest, most peaceful place we could ever be. Near to the heart of God!

In Him, 

"But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, That I may tell of all Your works." /// Psalm 73:28

All Will Be Well

I am, by no means, an "accomplished" songwriter or musician. All I know is that I love Jesus with all of my heart. More than that, I find myself pleading with Him to make my heart BIGGER so there will be even more love for Him. "Let me love You more!" is my plea. Out of that love flows songs of the heart. Jesus deserves to be worshiped continuously. Without ceasing. Without flaw.

I arrived home on Wednesday evening after a very sweet visit with my Sister Rachel and the Sky/Greenier family in Connecticut. The main goal was to honor two of my dearest friends (through Baby Showers) as they both welcome babies into the world this Spring. Throughout this week, through the craziness of planning/cleaning/baking/laughing/etc which come with any sort of party planning, I kept thinking about Eternity. But as the world is bouncing around like a chaotic Ping-pong ball--all I could think about was the incredible relief that will be found for those who truly love the Lord. When we cross over the threshold of Eternity, Cancer disappears. Leukemia, SIDS, Down Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, Alzheimers, Chronic Fatigue, Food Allergies--all of these things will vanish. Parent's that have miscarried will have their arms filled with the beautiful children they were parted from. There will never be any more need for tears of sorrow, or tears of goodbye. Anxiety, doubt, insecurity, hopelessness, depression--none of these things will be found in the Kingdom of God. 

Nothing but Joy. Unabashed JOY. Purity--no more "dirty jokes" or hurtful words. Patience--with everyone actually putting others above themselves. Can you imagine a world where everyone truly cares about your needs above their own? But not just YOURS. Everyone else's needs. True Kindness. Gentleness--the kind where you see a fierce Lion dozing quietly beside a peaceful little lamb. 

When I woke up this morning, I felt like there was a cloud of gloominess hanging over my head. I felt a bit "down" with parting from my sister, all the events in the news (forest fires nearby, etc), and just the normal every day struggles. But, when I sat down and truly cried out to the Lord--He heard me. I told Him all the weights on my heart, and He quietly listened. 

And He told me that "All will be well."

ALL. Everything will be well. Even if there are struggles today, He is in the process of working all things to an end. And there will be an end. But it is a BEAUTIFUL, victorious, glorious end. Then, to top it off, Jesus wrote me a song. So my prayer today is that you would be encouraged, strengthened in your heart, soul and mind, and filled with the Joyous anticipation of the Day when Jesus splits the sky--and makes all things well. 

All Will Be Well - by Anna Dumaresq

When I cross over Jordan, 

Through the gates of Heaven, 

What a glorious delight will fill my eyes. 

All pain and heartache, 

and every need for goodbye, 

will vanish as dew in morning sunlight.

Chorus:

And all will be well, 

All will be well!

As the burdens of this world

drift from sight

And the Glory of the King, 

Will be the Light of Heaven

With Jesus, finally by our side

--all will be well. 

When I see the children laughing

And those who've said goodbye, 

what a radiant Joy will flood my soul, 

For there in their midst

is Jesus--surrounded

As He gathers all His children close beside.

And as I finally stand before Him, 

What undeserved Mercy, 

As His tender hand of pardon

Stretches out!

And all of forever

what songs shall be lifted!

To the One who has come 

to set all things finally right.

Ch 2:

And made all things well!

All is now well!

As the burdens of this fallen world

are now vanish from our lives. 

And the Glory of the King, 

Will be the Light of Heaven!

With Jesus, Himself, has shown to be

the Way, the Truth, the Light

--And made all things well. 

In Him who is making all things right,