Turn the 'What If' to 'Even If'

I don’t know about you, but I find myself wrestling with anxiety even more these days. From world news to personal situations in my own life, the temptation to grow discouraged is quite real. My mind so easily can slip into a place of worry. I follow the spiral of the what ifs. "What if" this doesn't work out? "What if" things get worse? "What if" this person gets sick? "What if" I can't figure things out?

What if. Our minds can spin into a place of despair as we search for control in the midst of the unknowns. I was convicted by my own need for control when I listened to a sermon on the book of Daniel. The pastor sharing spoke about how we, as believers, need to change our vocabulary. In a world paralyzed by fear from the what if, we need to walk forward in faith. Brothers and sisters, we have to go from what if to even if. 

Even if chaos surrounds us, even if we are faced with uncertainty and presented with opportunity to give into fear—we have a hope and an anchor beyond the veil. Beyond the things we can see right now in this (temporary) world. His name is Jesus.

He was persecuted. He was rejected. He was crucified. He died SO we might live. SO that we might be reconciled with God. SO that we might have hope and a tested truth to cling to. SO we might have freedom from sin—from lust, gossip, idolatry, coveting, immoral behavior, murder, and more. SO we can have peace—peace that isn’t determined by everything going “ideally” in our lives.

So. How do we do this? How do we go from fear of what if to the facing of our even ifs.

1) Cling tightly to scripture and I mean CLING to it. Hold fast to “the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful” (Heb.‬ ‭10:23‬ ). If you are looking to the news or to some person to give you "peace" or assurance, you are constantly going to be filled with anxiety. We have to get into the Word. It is not an option. We have to know the Truth. We have to know Who our God is and who we are in light of that. 

2) Pray. Shut off your phone. Stop scrolling. Talk to the One who sees the nations as a drop in a bucket. Seek His face. Find your rest and strength from Him. Tell Him what you are concerned about and let Him carry it.

3) Stand in truth. “God has not given us a spirit of timidity (some versions say cowardice), but of power and love and discipline (a sound mind)” (2 Tim. ‭1:7‬). Because He lives, we can face tomorrow. And the next day. And the one after that. Stand in belief that you are going to be cared for, that all your needs will be provided. Believe God and take Him at His word.

“What if’s” may happen. They may not. But *even if* they do, God is still on the throne. We know the ending.

We don’t get “fear not” 100% right every single day; but we can choose in moments of panic or chaos to look to Jesus. Look past the “freak out” moments that we are faced with. Look past opinions. Look past fear. Fix your eyes on Him. Scripture says to “seek the LORD and His strength; Seek His face continually” (1 Chron.‬ ‭16:11‬). He has not left you alone.

In Case You Forget

In case you need a reminder--a little seed of encouragement: don't give up. Don't hang your head in despair. Do not be afraid of what the future holds (even with the upcoming elections..aheh...). Don't be timid about the unknowns of tomorrow.

You are NOT alone. You have not been left in this world to fend for yourself. You are upheld, little one, in the arms of Christ--the sweetest, safest place to ever seek refuge. He is your Shepherd (Ps. 23), your Deliverer (Ps. 18:2), a husband to the widow (Is. 54:4), and a tower of Refuge. He is your safe place.

NO matter tomorrow, no matter next week, next month or next year: He will hold you fast (Isaiah 41:13). Jesus Christ will carry you through. He will carry you through this trial, this heartbreak, this illness, this death in the family, this period in History--this very day. In Him is no deceit, no lies, no shadow of turning (James 1:17). HE is your beacon of Light amidst darkness. He is your calm within the chaos. He is your peace in the middle of turmoil. CHOOSE to set your Faith within the hands that were stretched out upon a cross for you. Even when you did not know Him...He knew of you. He knows you. He knows your situation. He knows your needs. He knows the cry of your heart. What He sets before you, He will bring you through. He will bring you through your Red Sea--however seemingly impossible.

In case you forget, amidst your topsy turvey life: Jesus wins. Trust Him. Rest in Him. Let your heart find HOPE in His name. He who promises is Faithful (Hebrews 10:23). He will not fail, for He never has.

In Him,

5 Women

Are you ready for something to blow your mind? I stayed up till 1:30 the other night, simply just mulling over what I am about to share with you. In fact, it may be a 2 part post. It may get a little wordy here, but please bear with me!

 This all began with Hannah, the mother of Samuel (Old Testament Prophet found in 1 Samuel). As I was reading her story, I noticed cross references in certain verses that I had never noticed before, leading me over to Genesis. There I found Sarah. In an obvious connection, the two were alike for they both earnestly desired for a child in their old age.

Then the wheels began spinning. Sarah. Hannah. Rachel. Rebekah. Elizabeth.

Sarah: Formerly Sari, she was the cherished wife of Abraham. After years of seeking the Lord for a child (even going so far as to encourage Abraham to take other wives), He sent messengers to Abraham to bring the news that Sarah would bear a child in her "advanced age" (Genesis 18). Sarah laughed at the impossibility, but in due time, she did conceive and bore a son named Issac (Gen. 21).

Rebekah: A beautiful wife found for Issac in an incredible, direct answer to prayer from a faithful servant (Gen. 24). She, like Sarah, was unable to conceive for many years. Her husband Issac prayed earnestly to the Lord, and "the Lord answered his prayer" and blessed the couple with twin boys named Esau and Jacob (Genesis 25:21).

Rachel: Jacob won the right to marry her after working 14 years of hard labor for her father, his Uncle Laban. Rachel and her sister Leah both became Jacob's wives, but Jacob truly loved Rachel (he was tricked into marrying Leah). God saw Leah's plight, and caused her to be very fruitful, but Rachel remained barren. After struggles of jealousy and conflict, the Lord remembered Rachel and she had 2 sons: Joseph and Benjamin (Gen. 29).

Hannah: Wife to a righteous man, Hannah was also loved more than the other wives of her husband. She was advancing in years, completely grief stricken at her still empty arms. After an small misunderstanding at the Temple with Eli, the prophet prayed blessing over her. The Lord then remembered Hannah and filled her hearts desire--little Samuel was born! God gave her Samuel, and in turn, she gave Samuel to the Lord to minister before Him (1 Samuel 1)

Elizabeth: Wife to Zechariah, both man and wife were known as righteous. However, Elizabeth still lacked the blessing of hearing children's laughter in her own home. The Angel Gabriel appeared to Zechariah, announcing that Elizabeth would bear a son who was the long awaited forerunner of Jesus Christ--John the Baptist (Luke 1).

5 Women.

-Each had a Righteous Husband (possessed the favor of the Lord and followed the Law)
-Each was loved dearly by their husbands
-Most experienced some sort of incredible message or dream about their child (being told they would be pregnant, having dreams about who their child would become, etc.)
-Each underwent some sort of trial, test or waiting period
-Each was remembered by God
-Each had a son that has a significant role in Scripture

So, what's really going on here? Let me ask you this first. What is more incredible and glorifying to God: a woman who bears a child, or an older woman--still following the Lord after years of testing--receiving her hearts desire and prophecies being fulfilled before her very eyes?

But get this. God did not just give them all sons. He gave them children who would play significant roles in Biblical History--a heritage!!!! This part blows my mind. Sarah bore Issac, the firstborn of the Nation God promised to Abraham, as well as becoming one of Abraham's biggest tests in Faith. Rebekah bore Esau and Jacob--Jacob, one who wrestled with God and received the name "Israel", as well as becoming the father of the 12 tribes of Israel (his sons). Rachel bore Joseph, a tribe of Israel and also the door to bring the Israelites into Egypt so God might bring them out (and establish the Old Covenant and 10 Commandments). Hannah bore Samuel, a man full of the Spirit of God, growing up to anoint King David, the house from which Jesus would arise. Elizabeth bore John the Baptist, fore-running prophet (and cousin) to Jesus the Christ...and these are just teensy descriptions of their lives.

Do you see what I mean? I get goosebumps thinking about all this. Think about it: after countless hours pouring out your heart to God (or years), He remembers you. But it was not just a "oops, I forgot about them" mentality with God-- It was a blessing that God was preparing their hearts for, as well as giving them the opportunity to trust Him.

So, where does this leave us? I asked the Lord that this morning. Know what His immediate answer was? "With Faith. It leaves you with Faith, Anna."

Friend, whether you are waiting for your own arms to be filled, for your door of ministry to open, for salvation to come to your household, for promises to be fulfilled...have Faith. Believe in the tested word of God. I don't think that these woman have similar stories for a mere coincidence. Every tear, every prayer, every heart cry is heard by the One you have placed your trust in. "These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed" (1 Peter 1:7). Each of these women wanted what was good, yet the Lord cultivated their faith while planning to give them what was better. As we walk in humility with hearts desiring His will above all, He will remember our prayers. He is working all things for good, stretching and preparing us to be a Citizen of Heaven, as well as a greater  Glory for Himself. Don't lose heart. :)

Following Behind Jesus,
 Anna

P.s. If you have any additional thoughts or connections in each woman's story, feel free to leave me a note below! :)

True Answers to Prayer

Today, I just need to tell people of God's faithfulness. So, after planning on doing a "how this last year has changed my life" post, I am instead doing a "Specific Prayers Answered" because I want people to see how God answers prayers--big and small.

• I was told 12/18/2012 that my Skin Graft surgery would be the 24th. I laid on the examination table,crying with mom after the surgeon left the room. After mom and I had spent weeks being SO careful in wound care and I had bypassed so many Christmas activities because of concern, it felt like my best was not enough. I felt terrible because something I had accidentally done caused something that would be costly to mom and dad monetarily.YET. As soon as I turned my thoughts to the Lord prayed for strength, He filled me with SO much incredible peace that I floated out of the doctors office, all smiles and joyful. :)
• I prayed that God would give me a doctor who I would feel comfortable with= God gave me the sweetest doctor for my first visit--I am always a little concerned about who my doctors are, yet the doctor God provided immediately made me feel at ease. (As well as the nurses...they were so great!)
• I prayed for strength= God answered this in many ways, but specifically through friendship. I skyped with some of my dearest friends, as well as called my friend Miriam. I talked to Miriam on the 23rd (and the day before surgery #2), and Jesus caused my heart to overflow because her. I was anxious, yet as I prayed with my sweet friend, Jesus came and sat down with me. He's pretty sweet like that.
• I prayed that God would bring peace and that His hand would be evident= The morning of my surgery, God made it SNOW. :) It wasn't supposed to (that I'm aware of), but as Mom and Dad drove me in, I began praying for peace. As I prayed, there were little flakes drifting down. It was so sweet. It snowed the entire way, creating a peaceful quiet drive.
• I prayed that I would be able to enjoy Christmas eve somehow= Because I don't have feeling in part of the back of my right leg, I was not put 100% under anesthesia. This was an answer to prayer, because our family loves Christmas Eve and I wanted to be conscious for the evening. I slept a little that afternoon, but I was fully conscious for the evening. :)

Enjoying some early Christmas presents

• Continued prayer for Strength= God gave me Rachel as my sister, and she also doubles as my personal butler Reggie when I'm injured/sick. I slept downstairs on her bed for over a month while she camped out on a mattress on the floor, taking care of me. <3 I really appreciate her, and we have SO many hysterical stories of midnight madness. ;)
• I asked for help regarding bruising, poor circulation, reactions to medicine= God is a sustaining God, full of mercy and grace. He gives strength to the weary and bears us up on eagles wings. He gave us wisdom about how to battle sore spots from laying on the bed, terrible circulation (I woke up and my feet were turning purple several nights), and the medication making me feel terrible. He was a gentle hand on my head, as a father smooths the curls of the child he loves, so Jesus caressed my weary head on His chest. He also provided some smart ideas of how to help position me better, as well as some humorous scenarios. (We were desperate enough to put a blanket in the microwave for a little while--it just lead to some of them smelling like popcorn..haha!)
• The I would know Jesus had a purpose for this= I had friends that texted me almost every day (some who live out of the country), my pastor and friends who called, 4-year-olds sending "Miss Anna" coloring sheets, and complete strangers bringing my family meals. It felt like the arms of Jesus were encircling my family! I cried so many times at a timely bible verse, or a note. His purpose was that I might know Him better---that's a pretty special thing.
• I prayed for good news and if bad news, then peace= After my week after surgery checkup, I went with the anticipation of being finished with all the "not bending my leg at all", super uncomfortable stapled bandages, and sleeping in my own bed. However, I instead received the news that my next surgery was going to be on the 9th, this time, with the potential to be in the hospital for 1 week+. YET, there was joy and peace in my heart, and again I walked out with a all smiles!
• I prayed for relief of stress for my mom and myself= The week between surgeries was hands down a complete answer to prayer. I got to have my huge bulky bandage replaced for a smaller one AND was able to shower and move a bit more freely. I told my mom that this was my sanity week--God gave me a lull in the spiritual and physical storm. It was SO sweet. We laughed all week, I was animated and even baked. :)
• For the next surgery,I prayed that I would be sunshine to the medical personnel and a light to those around me throughout my stay= After I prayed that, I felt such joy and peace that I smiled the entire day we spent in the waiting room. (Originally my surgery was supposed to be at 2 (?) so I wasn't supposed to eat/drink from the night before, but it ended up being around 4?)
• I prayed that God would make our time in the waiting room fruitful and joyful= My pastor Bill and worship leader Joseph came to the hospital to pray with me in the waiting room. This was actually an incredible blessing to me, and as we just sat and chatted, God used all of our laughter and conversation to cheer my family up and bring peace even more so to my heart. (And I also hope it cheered others up as well)
• I also prayed that God would send me Christian nurses and doctors= This short little nurse came in to do surgery prep, and she was so sweet. She made sure I was completely comfortable, and as she left, she looked me straight in the eyes and said "God Bless you."
• I prayed for protection during the surgery= I apparently had a small allergy to the anesthesia, but it cleared up quickly.
• I prayed for favor with my nurses and doctors= According to my family, all the staff were thrilled with how quickly I responded and with my cheerfulness. Some of them said a few really sweet comments, which also blessed me.
• I prayed for humor and fun things= I have a load of stories. One of my favorite stories was (Since it was on my upper leg, I had to lay on my stomach.) waking up at 5:00 a.m. and adjusting my head from the left to the right. As soon as I did that BOOM there were 2 doctors standing RIGHT over me (apparently they're pretty sneaky) saying "Uh..we just wanted to let you know that your doctors will be in shortly."
• I prayed for a speedy recovery= So, the day after my surgery all of my doctors came in and said "You have a choice: You are doing so well that we feel comfortable with releasing you. So, you can go home today, or you can go home later this week." YAHOO! My mom was thrilled. :)
• This time, when I came home, I was WAY more with it and as soon as I walked up my stairs, I saw 2 huge care packages from friends in CT and in NH. There was much excitement and giggling as Jesus showered me with overwhelming love through those gifts (they were soon followed by more!)
• I prayed for answers= Although there are things I will never know this side of eternity, I was actually incredibly blown away with the fact that Jesus told me several reasons why He was allowing me to walk through this. The one I will share with you is so that I might know His tender care. He cares for His sheep. Sweetly.
  
  ~

I have more stories throughout the 3+ months it actually took for complete recovery (super bad weakness and still pain), but I do not want to completely swamp you all! ;) I do want to say this though: God took my mistake, loved me enough to allow refining and trials, and He brought me so much closer to himself through this. Because of all of this, I am at a far closer walk with the Lord--I talk to Jesus..and He replies. Just like that. Because God loves me, He took my hand and walked with me through every day when I was laying in complete vulnerability. He sat beside my bed, wiping every tear, singing over me with songs of Joy and Hope.

"The Lord is refining me as silver, my faith like gold.
He has purposed good things for me,
to satisfy my spirit and the cry of my heart.
[..] Lord, may I learn every lesson that you would teach me."
[1/14/13 Journal Entry]

Anyways, as you are all moving from Thanksgiving to Christmas prep., know that God moves and He truly and faithfully answers prayers. If you are praying about things right now and feel like you are not getting answers, KEEP PRAYING!  His name is Faithful and True. He will surely answer those who call upon His name!

In Him, 

(P.s. I counted, and I had over 100+ people praying for me and my family. Crazy! If you were one of them, thank you!)

A Marking of Stones

This week has been hard. From some crazy schedules, bible studies, some health issues and my grandfather in a serious condition in the hospital, it has been a difficult past few days.

And yet.

As I drive from the hospital, to bible studies,then home to put in time working, I keep thinking about my last few chapters in Deuteronomy and the chapters in Joshua (which I have now started). I am about 7 chapters into Joshua, and I'll just summarize for you what's happening:

Moses has handed over position of leader of the Israelites  to this man called Joshua. If you remember from a previous post, Joshua is one of the men that God called out by name from amongst the entire host of people as a man with whom he was pleased. The entire first chapter is the Lord encouraging and instructing Joshua in what to do. This chapter is where the verse "Be strong and of good courage" is from (vs. 6). It is truly an incredible chapter, considering Joshua knew whose shoes he was going to be filling. When Moses left Egypt, even the Egyptians knew him to be a man of God. Moses spent days in the incredible presence of the Lord. Talk about pressure. Yet, the Lord God knew.

"As I was with Moses, so I will be with you."

That's pretty incredible, huh?

The next chapters have been about how faithful God is--He sends them out to cities and He goes before them! Some of the strongest cities even surrendered because they had heard about the God of the Israelites and were already terrified! If you are having a hard time right now with clinging to the faithfulness and ability of God, read Joshua. (Well, I personally think you should read it, regardless..but you know what I mean ;) )

One thing that has really struck me is the fact that God does not just provide victory for the people and then they move on. He proves Himself, then several times He has the Israelites build a memorial for the generations after them. In Chapter 4, it was specifically a pile of 12 stones, representing each tribe of Israel. It was seemingly just a pile of stones, yet so much more than that! Whenever someone would pass by that way again, they would see the stones and remember what God did at that river. It would be a testimony that would outlast that generation.

Google

 God's faithfulness is not merely for one generation people, but for generations of people. When we set a memorial down or a "landmark", it is not just for ourselves but also for our children...and for their children.

"[...] that this may be a sign among you, when your children ask in time to come
"What do those stones mean to you"? [...] and you shall let your children know that 'Israel passed over the Jordan on dry ground' [...] So that all the people on earth may know
that the hand of God is mighty;
That you may fear the LORD forever."

~Joshua 4:6, 23 & 24~

~

As I've been praying for strength and the nearness of God this week, I have been reminded to create a my own "memorial" and testimony of God's faithfulness. You definitely could build a memorial or set a physical stone as remembrance, but as for me, it often comes out in writing down a list of answered prayer or putting verses God has given me around my room (or on the bathroom mirror). It is a reminder to think on God's faithfulness, and it often causes people to ask about "that random list".

 Remember Gods' faithfulness. Keep track of answered prayers. Journal what God is teaching you, even if you have not seen the end result yet. Start listing the things you are asking God about (or asking for him to help) and watch as He answers. Write down when he answers! Set up visible verses in your home to remind you of what God has done for you, so when your children (or family members) ask, you can tell them of His faithfulness. This is so helpful on the days when the enemy wants us to believe that God is not listening. Remember His good nature and his merciful hand. And the neat thing is that if you start listing answered prayers, then it usually flows into Thanksgiving and Praise! 

Remembering His Faithfulness,