Only Believe

Well, time most certainly flies. I apologize for my bit of an absence-- last 2 1/2 months have just kind of....flown by? One reason, mainly is because we've been a bit busy! Bible studies, lots of snow, me taking spontaneous trips....the days kind of quickly pass when you least expect them to!

We have been having quite the winter--lots more snow!

15 inches, this particular day.

Our dog looked like a dolphin, bobbing in

and out of the snow :)

I slipped up to Massachusetts a over 2 weeks ago to see my friend Jessie and

 her new little baby boy Levi Daniel!

He is so precious!

~

Another reason for a bit of a silence is that God is taking me through another season of intense prayer, wrestling, and waiting on the Lord. I have been praying a lot for my family, for our struggles, our infirmities, and even just what serving God is supposed to look like for us as a family. I want to do another post about some of the things I am learning while praying, but just know that as you pray, KEEP PERSEVERING. KEEP MOVING FORWARD! I wish my caps lock was bigger, but KEEP GOING! :) Jesus is not deaf, nor apathetic to your prayers.

~

Why do I say this? A few weeks ago, I was really struggling. I was starting to feel that I had kind of slipped off God's radar temporarily, feeling useless, unfruitful and, as I was watching friends get married and have kids, feeling that odd fear of "Oh,  no...I'm being left behind." So, I turned to my best friend. I asked Jesus for strength, for faith, and for the quiet perseverance to wait on Him. As I was reading my Bible, He gave me a verse "Do not be afraid any longer, only believe" (Mark 5:36).

"Well...that was timely....as usual."

I clung to those verses (and still am), as a promise that God has not forgotten about me and does have a purpose for using my hands to labor in His fields.

~

AND THEN...DUN DUN DUNNNN.

~

That Sunday, our pastor opened up his Bible to--you guessed it--Mark 5! I will give you a little bit of a summary, although I really encourage you to read it for yourself:

Mark, starting in verse 21, describes how Jesus had just crossed over the sea, and was (as always) quickly surrounded by a large crowd. As He walks through the crowds, healing and ministering to people, He is suddenly approached by a synagogue official. This man, Jarius, threw himself at Jesus' feet pleading earnestly for Jesus to come and heal his daughter. His little girl, around the age of 12, was dying. "Please come and lay hands on her, so that she will get well and live", he implored (Mark 5:23). Jesus immediately began to follow Jarius to his home, pressing through the crowd. As they pressed through, a woman who had been bleeding for 12 years reached out her hand to touch Jesus, knowing He was her only hope and believing He could make her well. She was right, for as soon as she touched Him, she was healed! (By the way, for those of you who are not familiar with the customs, she was considered ceremonially unclean for 12 years and therefore could not make sacrifices or mingle with those who were "clean"...that's a BIG problem). Jesus knew she had been healed and had stopped to speak with her, saying "Daughter, your faith has made you well, go in peace and be healed of your affliction". While Jesus was still speaking to her, men from Jarius' home came and told him the devastating news--his little girl had died. They urged Jarius to stop bothering Jesus and to come home to mourn. Jesus turned and looked at Jarius--"Do not be afraid any longer, only believe".  Jesus went to Jarius home and, after baffling the assembled mourners by putting them out of the house and saying that the child was only sleeping, Jesus commanded the girl to get up. The child, lying on the bed, immediately got up and began to walk. They were all astounded!

~

First off, isn't it interesting that Jarius' daughter had been alive for the same amount of years that woman had been suffering with her illness? Pretty intriguing. Throughout this entire story, as I re-read it, I kept thinking about Jarius. Jarius was a synagogue official--He had status and was considered a man of importance. In a time where Jesus was saying things that were unbelievable and hard for the teachers and scribes to understand, this man threw aside his own pride and cast himself at Jesus mercy. He loved his daughter, and humbled himself in order to receive her life back. He showed humility in a crowd of people in his own town....at Jesus' mercy. Can you imagine his delight when Jesus began to follow him to his own house!?

Then. A distraction occurs. Not only does this man, Jesus and the apostles have to press through an enormous crowd, but there's a woman who needs Jesus too. I keep thinking of what Jarius must have been thinking--what was he doing during all of this? His daughter is dying...yet Jesus took the time to speak with this woman who needed help for 12 years. But Jarius said nothing. While Jesus was still speaking to the woman, Jarius' servants came and gave him the news he never wanted to hear--his little child was gone. What did he do? As they urged him to leave Jesus alone about the matter, Jarius said nothing. He looked to Jesus. Jesus said calmly and (I can bet you) gently "Do not be afraid any longer, only believe." What did Jarius do? He said nothing, but walked quietly beside Jesus, in expectation that He would take a heartbreaking situation and bring life from it. Can you imagine the heart drop he had when, upon reaching his house, he saw the mourners already wailing on behalf of his daughter and...himself? Yet Jesus said "Why make a commotion and weep? The child has not died, but is asleep." Ignoring the laughter and crazy looks, Jesus brought 3 apostles, Jarius and his wife into the bedroom where the body of the child lay. Jesus picked up the little girls' hand, looking at her, said "Little girl, I say to you, get up!"...and she opened her eyes and obeyed. Jarius had stepped out in humility, obeyed in quiet trust and was able to see the fruit of where he chose to put his trust--life through Jesus Christ.

~

I want that. I want to have the same reaction as Jarius--when situations seem hopeless, when it seems like God has "detoured", when I feel like God isn't working "quickly enough for me", to instead look directly at Jesus. Do not be afraid any longer, only believe. Instead of crying and complaining over fears, panicking over illness, worrying about things that are out of my control or even about my life-- to instead, fall in step behind my Master. I want to always choose humility and trust in the one who breathes Life into dry bones. Trust and Obey. Plus, just as Jesus healed a woman on the way to Jaruis's home, you never know what He is doing on the way to visiting your house! :)

Trusting and walking quietly behind the Giver of Life,





Small Miracles

Yesterday was a busy day. I cleaned and baked, and cleaned some more. I was supposed to head out to see a friend for tea around 12:30, planning to swing by the grocery store to pick up last minute things for the Strawberry Shortbread I was bringing. However, I lost track of time AND when I got into the car I was driving for the day, the dashboard was lit up like a Christmas tree. So, after a car switch, I ended up leaving aroun 12:55. For most people, 20 minutes can sometimes be made up in some way by shortcuts and such...unless you live a SOLID 35-40 minutes from the area you're supposed to be at AND have to do a grocery store run. Obviously my friend wouldn't be offended at being late, but I wanted to honor the time she set aside for me. So I did what I usually do--prayed.

"Lord, I need help. It's supposed to start snowing any minute AND I'm supposed to be at her house in 30 minutes (1:30 was our set time). Would you please somehow clear the way for me, and get me through traffic and through the grocery store?"

I started just singing and praising the Lord as I was driving (He is an awesome car buddy), just talking to Him and thinking about things He has done. As I drove, little flakes started drifting down. AAAAUGH.

"Lord, please hold off the snow until after I have tea with Leigh Ana."

When I finally pulled up to the grocery store, it was a steadier falling of delicate snowflakes. But it didn't phase me. I got out of the car, walking with a determined step--my list scrolling through my mind.

~

While I approached the doors to the store, I happened to overhear the Grocery Cart-Collector (for lack of a better title) talking with an older woman in a very friendly, sweet manner. He waved at her, said "God Bless" then proceeded ahead of me to the cart rack. We made eye contact as I passed, and I smiled and said "Hello!". He nodded, smiled and said "How are you?". "Good thank you!" He went back to pushing carts into place, and I headed on inside the store. I can't really explain it, but I just felt so content and peaceful in the company of Jesus, that despite the snow and me being late, I just was pretty smiley. Maybe even joyful. ;) I walked quickly through the store, grabbing my small handheld basket full of needed items.

Source: Google

After grabbing the yogurt (very important to have good culture...;) ), I efficiently weaved my way to the front...where I found....Lines. Lots of lines. With only 2 lanes open. I had mostly produce with no bar codes, so I decided to bypass the self-checkout due to my reputation with them. I picked the less-lengthy line and settled myself into wait, just smiling and enjoying the peace in my heart.

Source: Google

Then. A tap on my shoulder. I turned hesitantly. It was the Grocery Cart-Collector, with his outdoor winter gear on. I was a little confused, wondering if I had done something wrong.

 "Ma'am, you look like you're in a hurry.Come with me."

I was thinking "ooook...what's going on? I am in the middle of a line, and he comes to get me out of everyone?", but I followed him anyways. The GC-C took my basket from me, then led me quickly over to a self-checkout. I was thinking "OK, I guess I can try it." 

Source: Google

Well, I did not have a chance to try. The GC-C, in his big winter coat and scarf, did not let go of my basket. He proceeded to scan quickly ALL of my groceries for me, meanwhile telling me how much he loved baby carrots, and seemed surprised that I was grocery shopping for my mom. His fingers flew over the keypad as he punched in produce codes by memory, smiling and sending items quickly down the conveyor belt. I just kind of stood there, unsure of what to do and feeling really blessed! He asked how I was paying, then pushed the Debit button for me. As I scanned my card, he went to the end and bagged all of my groceries for me. I was smiling so big because it felt like it was Jesus maneuvering me through the store and then checking out my groceries for me. I said "Thank you so much...that was a huge blessing!". He smiled, handed my my groceries and said "You're welcome!". When I stepped outside, my heart filled with joy, it had stopped snowing! I got to my friends house at 1:42.

~

God didn't have to do that. I mean...honestly, I would have lived if I had to sit in traffic and have to wait in the lines. It was not a huge thing...just a small request for help, in order to honor someone else. Yet, I asked for His help in something small...and I felt His smile and delight in showing me how even the man who is supposed to be collecting carts can reflect His love for me. That, as a Father loves when his daughter asks him to undo a lid or tie a knot, Jesus loves to take care of us...actual care of us. We just have to ask.

~

Being a Christian--following and obeying Jesus--does NOT mean life is all "daisies and butterflies"...it does NOT mean that you will not go through intense hardships, even extreme loss. So many people believe that if they become a Christian, money and success will pour out of everywhere. Also, another belief is that we will never have to worry about anything. But sin is sin, and it affects every single person's life in this world...Christian or not. Sin kills, pollutes and destroys. Provision for our needs will pour out---not necessarily popularity and acceptance that the world would crave. Trust me. People who follow Jesus are usually not popular. However, following Jesus does mean that you have a source of actual real Joy,  Unshakable Peace, and  Indescribably HOPE despite the corruptness of the world around us. The world can steal our possessions or even our lives...but the Joy of knowing and being loved by Jesus, the one who came to set us free from our sins, so we might learn to love righteousness and Him....THAT, no one can ever steal! There is no sweeter privilege than to be called a follower of Jesus. Nope. None. :)

God Bless, 

P.s. If you want to know more about Jesus or what I mean by no one ever being able to steal our Joy (or anything I talked about), feel free to email me! I love talking about this Jesus I follow. :)

Source: Google

Glorious

In the last few weeks, I have been earnestly pressing into the presence of God and fighting some intense battles against the enemy. There are some exciting things going on in this new season and my heart just earnestly wants God to be glorified. A few nights ago, as I was praying, I asked that God would strengthen me, and show me His will for me. But above all, that He would be glorified. After I finished praying, I opened up my trusty "Strengthen My Spirit" devotional and found this.

"God's great design in all His works is the manifestation of His own glory. Any aim less than this would be unworthy of Himself. But how shall the glory of God be manifested to such fallen creatures as we are?

Self must stand out of the way that there may be room for God to be exalted; and this is the reason why He often brings His people into difficulties: that being made conscious of their own folly and weakness, they may be fitted to behold the majesty of God when He comes forth to work their deliverance.

He whose life is one even and smooth path will see but little of the glory of the Lord, for he has few occasions of self-emptying and little fitness for being filled with the revelation of God. They who navigate little streams and shall creeks know but little of the God of tempests; but they who "do business in great waters," these see His "wonders in the deep". Among the huge waves of bereavement, poverty, temptation, and reproach, we learn the power of Jehovah because we feel the littleness of man. 

Thank God then if you have been led by a rough road. It is this that has given you your experience of God's greatness and loving-kindness. Your troubles have enriched you with a wealth of knowledge to be gained by no other means: Your trials have been the cleft of the rock in which Jehovah has set you that you might behold His glory as it passed by."

I cried as I was reading this. It was such a gentle reminder that my life isn't mine. I have died with Christ, crucifying my will, my flesh, and my desires, and I have become his willing servant. It was as if water from heaven had been poured over my heart. I serve a tender and kind Master, who is the definition of Holy and worthy of all I could ever give--and so much more!

My continued prayer for this week is more of Him, less of me! I want to see the full glory of God revealed through my life--in my words, my actions, and in my heart. May my "self" stand out of his way, and may I continue to be "fitted to behold the majesty of God when He comes forth to work (my) deliverance"!

In Him, 

A Poor Exchange

I was reading the other day in Psalms, and I know there are 150 Psalms, but have you ever read through them and felt like you were reading it again for the first time?

That was me.

I was reading Psalm 106, and the text jumped out at me because I'm also in Exodus. For those of you who aren't familiar with 106 right off the top of your head, the psalmist is recounting the deeds of the Lord toward Israel. He is also recounting the ways in which the Children of Israel stumbled and sinned against God--which are quite numerous. (I feel like this is a chapter filled with "and yet". The children sinned, and yet God had compassion. The children of Israel stirred the Lord to jealousy, and yet he stayed his hand.)

But the main thing that popped out to me was this verse:

"And they exchanged the glory of God for the image of an ox that eats grass." (106:20)

Sure, you can skim over it easily, but just sit and think about it for a moment. The very people whom God called unto himself and set apart as his own, set free from YEARS of captivity, provided EVERY need for them, shown wonders which no one had ever seen before, and instructed them to make a building so he would be able to dwell WITH his chosen people(did I ever mention how incredible that is?!)--they said "thanks, but no thanks", quickly forgot the testimony God had provided for them, and had a man of importance make for them a cow. That is one of the most frank verses I have ever read.

Part of me wanted to laugh at the image of a simple cow, but the reality is, this is so often ME. So often I exchange experiencing the glory of God's presence for simple things--one more page in a book, 10 more minutes on the computer, or just a few more minutes of sleep. I easily forget the goodness of God, the sureness of His character, the solid evidence of his faithfulness, and place my own "grass eating ox" in the place of glory. Something that seems like an answer, yet is not my Savior.

What a poor exchange.

And yet He is so quick to forgive us...to call us beloved. He has placed his own hand upon us, one that cannot be removed by any earthly power. When we come to him, in humility and repentance, He gladly lifts up our head and calls us by name. What an incredible God we serve.

As I continue to think about (and repent) of the things I am trading, I encourage you to also consider what are areas in your life where you've (even unknowingly) traded the GLORY of the Lord? What are things that keep you from seeing the full glory of God?

In His Arms, :)
~Anna