What 2017 Gave Me: A Lesson in Honesty, Trust, and Letting Go

Happy New Year, folks. It's hard to believe that we have finally landed in the year 2018.  It is also hard to believe that I haven't posted anything since AUGUST. *gulp*

Just to recap.

September: Full of new experiences -- running the Charlottesville Women's 4Miler, adventuring through New York City, continuing to get into the swing of my new crazy life schedule, corn-mazes with friends, camping trips, and throwing Spudnut a crazzzzyyy surprise "sweet 17" party. 

October: I slipped down to my family's cabin with my sisters and a friend for a much-needed weekend retreat on the lake. October also found my sister Rachel moving back home after some unforeseen circumstances, which brought some changes to the house--and a lot of sunshine. <3 Numerous hikes, exploring sunflower fields, football games, and some incredible sunrises filled my Fall!

November: Exploring parts of Canada, adventuring through Boston, local waterfalls, a true southern-style huge family Thanksgiving and also visiting my godchildren! Basically...I was gone a lot. Heh.

(Rudd Family Thanksgiving 2017)

December: Toss in some more hiking, crazy adventures, work, 2018 adventure planning, AND CHRISTMAS. Throw in a ugly sweater New Year's party, a bunch of hours in the car and about 300 hours worth of loudly sung Christmas carols....and that's pretty much a wrap up of the last few months. 

(Charli, Rachel, Aimee and myself)

(Blue Ridge Mountains)

(Gettysburg, PA)

_

If you follow me on Instagram (annadumaresq), you may have also picked up that I had some difficult things going on this year. There were a lot of unseen "growing pains" occurring. Some of the growth that occurred brought joy; however, some of the growth brought a lot of painful awareness. Truthfully, as 2018 approached, I realized how much my heart was hurting. The year 2017 has been a roller-coaster of lessons. Lessons in trust. Lessons in humility. Lessons in healthy emotional boundaries. Lessons on letting go. I think I needed a reminder of how desperately this world needs Jesus--christians and non-believers alike. We all need Jesus every single day. This year made me remember why. 

The big thing that the Lord had to tenderly (but painfully) reveal to me in 2017 was how much I trusted others above HIM. I ran to others for help (emotionally and mentally) before I thoroughly exhausted HIS help. Just to remind you...His help can't be exhausted. ;) 

Just like any good caretaker, He started pruning things that were causing me to be weighed down or preventing me from seeing HIM clearly--the wholeness that comes from a relationship with HIM. Not from friendships, not from romantic relationships, not from spouses or MONEY. In Jesus Christ. He pruned some friendships that I held too tightly. He pruned hidden pride. He pruned the over-self-reliance. I have been facing tough questions that I wish with every fiber of my core that I had answers to--questions like..."why won't God heal me" and "why did they hurt me". I've been rendered silent because I can't actually answer these questions--some of these are answered with a quiet choice to believe in the unblemished goodness of God's character. You never can fully comprehend the intimacy of a friendship with Christ until He is your ALL. No backups. No plan "B". Jesus Christ has to become ALL.

Honest moment: As all this was happening, I slowly watched myself emotionally withdrawing from a lot of social circles. Not that it's a horrible thing (especially since I'm an introvert..hehe)...it's just that...I really have a hard time trusting people with my whole self. I know we all tend to have a hard time opening up to people, but I've seen a lot of hypocrisy in my twenty-some years. I've seen Christians shred each other to pieces. People see the goofy, smiling side--but very few see the deep things I'm passionate about. Few people see the things that make me cry. After I found my heart healed this summer from something that happened about 4 years ago, I could feel a joyful willingness to know and be known by those around me. I wanted to share the passion and convictions that burned in the core of my heart. Heading into 2018, I know that some of the things that happened this fall caused me to falter in the freedom I had obtained. I rebuilt some walls that need to be broken down again. I need to gain that ground back from the enemy's camp....and by the grace of God, I'm going to.

Anyways. Long story short. 

I don't know where 2018 found you. Maybe you're sailing through life, maybe you're newly engaged, maybe you just found out you are expecting a child, maybe you just got your dream job. Or...maybe not. Maybe you just lost your baby...or watched the test come up "negative" again for being pregnant. Maybe you watched a future you built up crumble between your fingers. Maybe you're not the same person you were January 2017. Maybe you love who you are today. Maybe you feel like a little boat without an anchor--being tossed around from wave to wave. Maybe you're looking for a reason to live one more day. 

Wherever you are--you aren't alone. I don't know why it takes pain and weakness for us to truly LEARN who God is--and the significance of WHY Jesus had to come to earth. But if I learned anything this year, I have witnessed that it is at our complete darkest that the light of Christ has capacity to shine the brightest. I have relearned that I can't let the devil use circumstances to cloud my perspective of God. I have relearned that when we stand empty-handed before God, He fills us up and gives us the sweetest gift--Himself. I don't have all the answers to these big questions. But He is a big God. He is undaunted by my fear, my growing pains...and my BIG questions. He's ready for YOUR big questions.

So I leave you with a 2018 reminder of who God is--yesterday, today, and forever. 

- God is full of LIGHT. Pure light. 

"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all." // 1 John 1:5

- God WILL take care of you.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? // Matthew 6:26

-God does not and CANNOT lie. He WILL bring to pass every promise concerning you. 

"God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? // Numbers 23:19

-God is your shield--your defender and shelter. 

"As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him." // Psalm 18:30

-God is full of compassion for you. 

"The LORD is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.// Psalm 116:5

-God is just. He is a righteous judge and the wicked will not go unpunished.

"And the heavens proclaim his righteousness, for he is a God of justice." // Psalm 50:6

-God is a present friend...He takes up our everyday burdens and puts them on Himself. 

"Praise be to the lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens" // Psalm 68:19

-

Wherever you are today--be it rejoicing or wrestling--choose to rest in the promises of God. Even when you don't understand or can't "see"...choose the childlike faith in a Father who fulfills every promise and is undaunted by our fears. He will never leave you! Trust Him.  

Happy New Year, friend. 

In Him, 

Fall into Christmas

I love this time of year. That crisp morning air, newly settled frosts--that hint of Christmas just around the corner. Perfect mornings for coffee. ;)

What a crazy two months it has been. Birthdays, the Election, baking for a Vow renewal, and just everyday LIFE. My dad is on his last stretch of his "busy season". He works with Humana insurance, and October-December is the busiest time of the year for him, as people are "aging" into different plans. He makes a majority of his yearly income in two and a half months...needless to say, it can get a bit stressful for him. ;) So this busy season often becomes a "press in" season for our family. Pressing forward even when things can get hectic, and pressing on in our pursuit of Christ.

Some highlights from the last two months:

Some dear friends of our decided to renew their vows, recommitting to honor and serve one another. 

It was a GORGEOUS, simple ceremony...and I'm pretty sure every single person cried. ;)

I have a running joke with the "Groom" that it's not an event until my cheesecake makes an appearance. Thus, I got to make Carrot Cake Cupcakes (Brides Choice) and the "Grooms Choice" was "Anything that Anna makes" (aka Cheesecakes)

A VERY sweet evening, one highlight being that I got to spend a little time with my Cousin Taylor. Even though we live in the same state, we often don't get to cross paths because of crazy schedules.

I (along with my little sister and a few friends) got to try our first "race". 

 I LOVED it....and you may find me doing it again. ;)

We also chased some sunsets while house-sitting. 

No matter the states I travel to, Virginia will always have my heart.

Thanksgiving was also pretty exciting for our family. We planned to go out of town the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, knowing that Rachel would be "somewhere around the country" and not able to come home. However, Tuesday (while I was at work), I got a call saying "Hey, can you come get me tonight in Staunton?" So, I met Rachel and the Sky Family at 1:00 a.m. in a Walmart parking lot to have Rachel home for Thanksgiving! Needless to say, it was a crazy, sweet, food-filled time. We were also blessed to be able to share one last trip to the cabin with a dear friend who has (now) moved back to Kansas. 

And NOW we are headed into Christmas! Is it just me, or has this year FLOWN?! I'm still sitting here wondering how we got a Tree up so quickly. But on that note, as we head into this Christmas season, I've been praying that the Lord would grant to me a quiet, contemplative spirit. I really want to grasp the incredible gift we have been given--how Someone SO Holy and worthy of continual worship would humble Himself, entrusting Himself to a young "insignificant" couple. We have SO many reasons to be Thankful for our blessings that God has given us every day, but I want to really understand (again) the Glory of the ULTIMATE gift coming to Earth. A gift which we do not deserve. Jesus, the Son of God, born into flesh. A quiet, humble birth. No self-proclamation. No "pomp and circumstance". Just the sweetness of the Holy Spirit and the glorious, perfect ways of a God who cares for us. All so that WE might be free from Sin, from bondage, from addiction--with the ability to walk in fullness of Joy with the expectation of Life with Christ in Eternity. Hallelujah!

Just out of curiosity, what are some ways that you prepare for this Advent & Christmas season? Do you do a Bible study? Do you do Advent readings with your family?

Resting in the Joy of Christ, 

Hello, Handsome

Funny how things can change in the blink of an eye. With a simple ticking of the clock hands, time passes. And life goes on.

~

Things have been a bit quieter in the Dumaresq home these last few weeks. The end of May, we were planning our Florida Vacation for June 6th-15th. The beginning of June found us sitting in the ICU, watching my Grandaddy pass slowly into Eternity. Grandaddy had been in and out of the hospital the past few years; heart trouble, kidney failure, and a host of other problems. This time, the Lord took him home to be with Him. Grandaddy "changed his address" June 8, 2016.

It's funny the things you start thinking about when someone close to you passes away. As I sat in his vacant recliner this morning, I just kept thinking about how much I really loved my granddaddy. He wasn't perfect. But he loved his family, even if he wasn't always sure how to show it. Every time we went to visit, Grandaddy would say "There she is!" and I would answer "Well, hello there Handsome!". I would kiss him on the cheek, heading off to help Grandma with dinner. He had his quirks (like anyone) and he was a TOUGH man. He required honesty, loyalty and integrity in his business dealings. He made me realize the importance of good work ethic. The kind that doesn't stop just because something is difficult. You push through, and you find a way to make it work. OR you find someone to help you make it work.

(End of the Road Farm)

 I remember the first time I stayed with them while my parents were away. He gave me a glass of Orange Juice to make me stop crying. It worked. I probably was the only Rudd who could get away with telling him his grilled steaks were "crunchy" (I was a golden haired 5-year old at the time). I actually tickled Pettus Rudd AND he laughed (I was also about 5 years old). He loved light houses, NASCAR, Ford Trucks, and a hard day's work. He watched Gunsmoke faithfully, and taught me that you can always tell who the good cowboys are by what color hat they wear!

Maybe one day soon, I'll share a bit more of some of the sweet ways God upheld us and strengthened us during these past two weeks. But for now, I just want to leave you with this. Remember that life is brief. Be grateful for each day the Lord gives, and make the most of every single moment.

Can't wait to see you again, Handsome. 

Just A Glimpse

It's official! Aimee has graduated from Regent University! 

It is so incredible how the Lord carries us quietly, sometimes without us even really realizing it is by His strength that we press forward through every obstacle. When Aimee graduated, it was a testimony of hours invested in learning and also a proclamation of the Lord's faithfulness. He has carried her though so many things--including extreme plan changing and life goals being shifted. Even the week leading to Graduation held the glory of a God who provides for our needs. Each day He carries us in His arms.

After the ceremony, we shot over to Chincoteague, VA (known for their wild ponies) and spent two nights near the Downtown area. Full of Gift shops, Seafood, Ice Cream parlors and coffee shops--it was the perfect place for the Dumaresq family to land.

Step outside our hotel door and walk to your left. This is the view you will find.

I came fully prepared with my beach hat!

Wave Jumpers

Crabby Lady ;)

When at the beach, you HAVE to play Sand Games.

Exploring Secret Paths

Ice Cream Sundaes as Big as Our Faces. No Joke.

AND, we managed to find the horses!!

The best part was that each point in our weekend was an answer to prayer. We (as a family) have not had a truly relaxing weekend ALL together in such a long time. Our mini-getaway was just that--a time to step back and rest quietly as a family. Our dear "Fremily" (friends that feel like family) were able to join us for a night, making our time there even more special. Quiet nights with a salty breeze blowing by your window, Sunbeams bursting through the mist covered waves (which was really a sight to see!), laughter floating through the air as we joked and teased each other, and the beautiful reminder of how much we truly have to be thankful for. Every white-capped wave, every seagull, every wild horse prancing around, every baby waving as they toddle by--they all come from the heart of a God who knows us and longs that we might know Him. I am so thankful for His heart. 

I keep telling the Lord how grateful I am for His faithfulness and His thoughtfulness. Not just for "things", but that all of the visible sights are a mere foreshadowing of the a land awaiting us far beyond the beauty of Chincoteague. We have Him waiting for us on the other side. A time when the rest, joyful fellowship, peace and the companionship of Jesus will be "normal" days of Eternity. Even now my heart is gleefully anticipating hearing Jesus' laugh and running straight into His arms. It is going to be the sweetest day we have ever had. Hallelujah!

Looking Eagerly Towards Eternity,