Only Believe

Well, time most certainly flies. I apologize for my bit of an absence-- last 2 1/2 months have just kind of....flown by? One reason, mainly is because we've been a bit busy! Bible studies, lots of snow, me taking spontaneous trips....the days kind of quickly pass when you least expect them to!

We have been having quite the winter--lots more snow!

15 inches, this particular day.

Our dog looked like a dolphin, bobbing in

and out of the snow :)

I slipped up to Massachusetts a over 2 weeks ago to see my friend Jessie and

 her new little baby boy Levi Daniel!

He is so precious!

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Another reason for a bit of a silence is that God is taking me through another season of intense prayer, wrestling, and waiting on the Lord. I have been praying a lot for my family, for our struggles, our infirmities, and even just what serving God is supposed to look like for us as a family. I want to do another post about some of the things I am learning while praying, but just know that as you pray, KEEP PERSEVERING. KEEP MOVING FORWARD! I wish my caps lock was bigger, but KEEP GOING! :) Jesus is not deaf, nor apathetic to your prayers.

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Why do I say this? A few weeks ago, I was really struggling. I was starting to feel that I had kind of slipped off God's radar temporarily, feeling useless, unfruitful and, as I was watching friends get married and have kids, feeling that odd fear of "Oh,  no...I'm being left behind." So, I turned to my best friend. I asked Jesus for strength, for faith, and for the quiet perseverance to wait on Him. As I was reading my Bible, He gave me a verse "Do not be afraid any longer, only believe" (Mark 5:36).

"Well...that was timely....as usual."

I clung to those verses (and still am), as a promise that God has not forgotten about me and does have a purpose for using my hands to labor in His fields.

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AND THEN...DUN DUN DUNNNN.

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That Sunday, our pastor opened up his Bible to--you guessed it--Mark 5! I will give you a little bit of a summary, although I really encourage you to read it for yourself:

Mark, starting in verse 21, describes how Jesus had just crossed over the sea, and was (as always) quickly surrounded by a large crowd. As He walks through the crowds, healing and ministering to people, He is suddenly approached by a synagogue official. This man, Jarius, threw himself at Jesus' feet pleading earnestly for Jesus to come and heal his daughter. His little girl, around the age of 12, was dying. "Please come and lay hands on her, so that she will get well and live", he implored (Mark 5:23). Jesus immediately began to follow Jarius to his home, pressing through the crowd. As they pressed through, a woman who had been bleeding for 12 years reached out her hand to touch Jesus, knowing He was her only hope and believing He could make her well. She was right, for as soon as she touched Him, she was healed! (By the way, for those of you who are not familiar with the customs, she was considered ceremonially unclean for 12 years and therefore could not make sacrifices or mingle with those who were "clean"...that's a BIG problem). Jesus knew she had been healed and had stopped to speak with her, saying "Daughter, your faith has made you well, go in peace and be healed of your affliction". While Jesus was still speaking to her, men from Jarius' home came and told him the devastating news--his little girl had died. They urged Jarius to stop bothering Jesus and to come home to mourn. Jesus turned and looked at Jarius--"Do not be afraid any longer, only believe".  Jesus went to Jarius home and, after baffling the assembled mourners by putting them out of the house and saying that the child was only sleeping, Jesus commanded the girl to get up. The child, lying on the bed, immediately got up and began to walk. They were all astounded!

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First off, isn't it interesting that Jarius' daughter had been alive for the same amount of years that woman had been suffering with her illness? Pretty intriguing. Throughout this entire story, as I re-read it, I kept thinking about Jarius. Jarius was a synagogue official--He had status and was considered a man of importance. In a time where Jesus was saying things that were unbelievable and hard for the teachers and scribes to understand, this man threw aside his own pride and cast himself at Jesus mercy. He loved his daughter, and humbled himself in order to receive her life back. He showed humility in a crowd of people in his own town....at Jesus' mercy. Can you imagine his delight when Jesus began to follow him to his own house!?

Then. A distraction occurs. Not only does this man, Jesus and the apostles have to press through an enormous crowd, but there's a woman who needs Jesus too. I keep thinking of what Jarius must have been thinking--what was he doing during all of this? His daughter is dying...yet Jesus took the time to speak with this woman who needed help for 12 years. But Jarius said nothing. While Jesus was still speaking to the woman, Jarius' servants came and gave him the news he never wanted to hear--his little child was gone. What did he do? As they urged him to leave Jesus alone about the matter, Jarius said nothing. He looked to Jesus. Jesus said calmly and (I can bet you) gently "Do not be afraid any longer, only believe." What did Jarius do? He said nothing, but walked quietly beside Jesus, in expectation that He would take a heartbreaking situation and bring life from it. Can you imagine the heart drop he had when, upon reaching his house, he saw the mourners already wailing on behalf of his daughter and...himself? Yet Jesus said "Why make a commotion and weep? The child has not died, but is asleep." Ignoring the laughter and crazy looks, Jesus brought 3 apostles, Jarius and his wife into the bedroom where the body of the child lay. Jesus picked up the little girls' hand, looking at her, said "Little girl, I say to you, get up!"...and she opened her eyes and obeyed. Jarius had stepped out in humility, obeyed in quiet trust and was able to see the fruit of where he chose to put his trust--life through Jesus Christ.

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I want that. I want to have the same reaction as Jarius--when situations seem hopeless, when it seems like God has "detoured", when I feel like God isn't working "quickly enough for me", to instead look directly at Jesus. Do not be afraid any longer, only believe. Instead of crying and complaining over fears, panicking over illness, worrying about things that are out of my control or even about my life-- to instead, fall in step behind my Master. I want to always choose humility and trust in the one who breathes Life into dry bones. Trust and Obey. Plus, just as Jesus healed a woman on the way to Jaruis's home, you never know what He is doing on the way to visiting your house! :)

Trusting and walking quietly behind the Giver of Life,