Growing Forward

I remember this photo. It was taken 3+ years ago in a field of sunflowers on a picture perfect (literally) summer afternoon. I found it and my mind immediately went to “I wish I was like I used to be”. My perspective of the past is how carefree, happy(ier), and full of life I was. Everything seemed easy....well, easier. 😏

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I think sometimes in the middle of difficult times, we can get stuck in looking at the past in wistfulness. “I used to be happy/smaller/more fit/had more friends/more time/growing/etc”. It’s easy to do. But as I was staring at this photo, I know that Anna. She is the same Anna that I am now. She was crazy, always up for an adventure and full of really bad puns. That’s me today. She loved making people laugh, encouraging, wiping tears, listening, and she really wanted people to know how deeply they are loved. That’s what my heart cries still. She had insecurities and doubted herself—I still do. I look a little different, but I’m still that young woman. However, I do have something that she doesn’t have...at least not yet. The Anna I am today has 3 more years of learning, walking behind Jesus. I know Him even more now. She knew hard, but she would learn harder. She knew joy, but she would learn greater joy. She knew disappointment, but she would learn that it is only in Jesus can we place 100% of our trust. And she is stronger than she thinks. 

We lose things in life. But if you feel like you’ve ever “lost” yourself, don’t be afraid that you’ll never “get back there”. Honestly, I think God wants to move us beyond “back there”. He wants to move us forward. Sometimes it takes discomfort and difficulty to get our fists loose around material items so we can get our focus back on what matters—Him. Remember the good memories, but don’t linger looking backwards. Instead, turn your gaze forward where the God of all knowledge, compassion, wisdom, justice, righteousness, beauty, holiness and Truth is transforming us into true citizens of His Kingdom. One day at a time. Because He care for YOU (1 Pet. 5:7). He’s not done with you, so don’t. lose. heart!