Fearless

I have struggled with fear ever since I was little. When I say struggle, I mean struggle. There are the "usual" fears-- of the dark, being left, and all those other "typical" fears. However, instead of outgrowing them as I grew older, I feel like my fears also grew with me. Quite a few came from seeing parts of violent movies when I was little, which caused me to have abnormal fears added to my list (fears of being alone at night or red night lights). I battled through my childhood with all these things, never truly gaining victory. And YET, God did not leave me there in my fear. He is a merciful God, and when we ask Him to help us---guess what? He WILL! Several years ago, God designated a sweet prayer time with an older woman who helped me pray through my fears! I asked the Lord to deliver me from my fear, to give me courage, and asked His forgiveness for choosing to be afraid rather than trusting Him. He answered me by setting me free from the shackles of anxiety. Needless to say, I do have to still fight to walk in victory. "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" is a very true word (Eph. 6:12). The enemy continually uses fear and intimidation against us. He wants to "cripple" us in order to keep us from being close to God OR from being fruitful in God's kingdom. Like I said---it is a fight. 

Over the summer, as I was praying through some options for the Fall, I had 3 main impressions:

a) That there were 3 specific people God wanted me to minister to.

b) This was to be a season of Prayer, Praise, and Perseverance. 

c) I wanted to be in Scripture as much as possible.

~

Needless to say, the enemy does not like any of the above options.

He will try to pull up things from your past to prevent you
from moving forward with God.

Things like fear.

~

Over the last few weeks, I've noticed that I have been seeing fear creep back into my life in small steps. From listening to people's extreme anxiety about world news, afraid to go to sleep because of  intense nightmares, or being feeling paranoid when walking down our (safe) road---all these things were leaving room for the enemy to creep in. I battled with it intensely knowing there was something wrong, but not really gaining full victory over it like I previously had. Then a few days ago God came and talked to me. 

"Lord, I am just so worried and tired..."
"So, are there any scriptures that come to mind right now??"
"Well, Do not fear is all over the Bible..."
"What kind of form is it given, Anna?"
"...It's in.....command form. Do not fear."
"Yes, command form. I want you to trust me and choose to obey what I say,
 because I love you."

~

I realized then that the enemy was attempting to creep in and "tie my hands" again (so to speak)---to get me in a flustered place where my fear bound my ability to actually be fully fruitful for God. I had specific things that God asked me to do--things which he was already blessing my efforts in--and the devil was not happy about it. So...I decided to obey God. The next day, I opened up the door to take my walk. I looked at the sky and said "God, today I choose obedience. I choose to not be afraid because YOU are my defender and if you can bring victory to an entire group of men (Israelites), you can protect and care for me. So, today, I want you to know that I trust you." Then I left my porch. I walked fearlessly down the road, rejoicing in Him. It was a great walk. :)


So, this week, I have determined (again) that I would rather be obedient to God and trust Him, than be crippled to ineffectiveness by the enemy! Praise God for victory again AND for allowing me to work for Him!

Walking Boldly in Him,